Celebrities are always getting arrested for dumb stuff. Sure, occasionally an OJ or a Phil Spector gets stabby or blows someone’s head off but for the most part it’s a string of DUIs and petty Lohan shenanigans. But every once in a while, a celebrity kicks things up a notch and gets arrested for something truly ridiculous. It is to these trailblazers that this list is dedicated. Each one of them managed to get arrested with the style and flare you’d expect from such gifted artistes. Sure, they’re embarrassing as hell, but let’s face it, they’re also really, really funny and really isn’t that what life’s all about? Of course it is, and with that in mind, here are nine of the most ridiculous celebrity arrests of all.
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Poor Randy Travis found himself the latest in a long string of famous people to get busted for driving after consuming the demon drink but what sets him apart is that he was buck-ass naked when the cops pulled him over. To top things off, the naked Travis then tried to attack the cops and threatened to kill them. You know, as one does in that sort of situation. Of course, that begs the question: why in the hell was he naked? I mean, you can understand the drunk part, but naked? Now that’s a willful decision. My guess is that he was kicked out by an angry woman after sex, just decided to hell with it and took off rather than pounding on the door all night. Or maybe he just wanted to put the top down on a hot summer’s night and let the air whipping by at 70 mph cool the sweat on his balls. Who knows? Whatever the reason, Randy Travis will be known for this the rest of his life and for that, I both thank him and salute him.
Photo Credit: YouTube/Randy Travis
Hey, I swear that this list isn’t comprised solely of naked dudes but that’s just the way these things go down sometimes, you know? And nobody knows that better than Wooderson over here, who was busted several years back when the cops showed up to his place only to find him stoned out of his mind, naked as the day he was born, playing the bongos. As the man himself would say, alright, alright, alright. In McConaughey’s defense, it’s easier to play the drums without all those pesky clothes getting in the way, restricting your movement. I know that’s how I managed to win my high school talent show. But seriously, this incident was the most Matthew McConaughey thing ever, right? I mean no one ever really talks about it anymore because everyone has pretty much accepted that this is just who he is. To hell with Charlie Sheen, when you can get caught naked, stoned, playing bongos and have everyone just sort of nod and say “Yeah, sounds about right,” then you’ve redefined the word winning.
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There’s no nudity involved in this one, I swear. Just stupidity. Back in 2008, a piss-drunk Shia Labeouf staggered from his hotel – you’d get piss drunk too if you had to spend 14 hours a day pretending to emote to a cardboard cutout of a robot pretending to be a semi-truck – and into both a local Walgreens store and into legend. The account of what actually happened that night is hazy but it reportedly involved Shia, fragile creature that he is, doing battle with security guards after they had the temerity to laugh at him, zit cream, cigarettes, multiple changes of clothes (what in the… ?) Shia refusing to leave the store and Gummi Bears. I’ll just let you throw all those elements together in your head and write your own narrative, Mad Libs-style because let me tell you, whatever you come up with can’t be any stupider – or more ridiculous - than the truth.
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The strangest part of the Fred Willard arrest wasn’t that he got caught jacking off, it’s that he got caught jacking off at a porno theater in 2012. I mean, I know he’s older than dirt and old people think the computer internet machine will come to life and steal their social security checks and their dentures, but come on, man. Maybe he just gets off on the thrill of beating it surrounded by other old perverts and the smell of stale popcorn and jizz? I don’t know and frankly, I don’t wanna know. All I do know is that I’m mildly impressed that a dude in his 70s still has the desire to jack it like that. Really though, the whole incident was just kinda weird, ridiculous in a way that makes me wonder if it wasn’t just a scene from one of his movies directed by Christopher Guest gone terribly, terribly wrong. Whatever the case, Fred, my man, maybe it’s time to invest in a home theater if you know what I mean. You can even hire an usher to wander in and out so it feels more dangerous. Look, I’m just trying to help.
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Sure, Eddie Murphy was never technically arrested but, in the words of the great Mills Lane, I’ll allow it. And that’s because even while the cops let Eddie walk, the incident was embarrassing enough that he might as well have gotten arrested. You see, way back in 1997, poor Eddie was caught by the cops with a hooker in his car. No big deal, right? Happens all the time. The thing is, is that the hooker wasn’t a lady – or a dude for that matter. No, Eddie’s hooker was a transvestite, and hey, that’s cool man, whatever rocks your socks. But what made the incident go from eyebrow raiser to sublimely ridiculous was Eddie’s defense, which was that he was just being a Good Samaritan and giving the poor, lost lady-dude a ride. And it actually worked! The cops arrested the transvestite and let Eddie drive away. So keep that in mind the next time you’re pulled over with a blonde in the passenger seat who looks like she could play linebacker for the Raiders. But hell, to be fair, this is only like, the fifth most embarrassing thing that’s happened to Eddie Murphy in the last 15 years or so. Let’s not forget, this was the man who made Norbit. Clearly he has no shame.
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Sure, Randy Travis was busted for a DUI while driving naked, but at least he was driving a car. George Jones, his country music drunkard forefather, managed to get a DUI while driving a goddamn lawnmower. That’s right. Jones, a legendary drunkard, apparently came home one day, blitzed out of his mind, only to find that all the cars were gone. The problem was that George was running out of booze and needed to go to the liquor store. So he did what any sane, rational person would do and he fired up the ol’ riding lawnmower. Soon after, the cops found him weaving down the highway on a John Deere and hauled his ass in. This will always be the alpha dog when it comes to drunk driving stories, unless of course Willie Nelson or someone like that gets busted for riding a child’s Big Wheel while wasted. But until that day comes, all hail the king of the celebrity DUI, George Jones.
Photo Credit: YouTube/George Jones
In 2007, ‘80s pop-star Boy George was arrested for false imprisonment, which is weird enough on its own but it’s the details that really push this thing over the edge into the realm of the truly ridiculous – and hilarious. It would seem that Boy (I can call him Boy, right?) was in the mood to take some pictures, but because he’s Boy George these couldn’t just be any pictures, they had to be, uh, special. And so, naturally, he hired a Norwegian male hooker, brought him home and chained him to the wall and started snapping away. The poor male hooker later claimed that he was terrified for his life, and let me tell you, you have to be a special kind of fucked up to terrify a male hooker. I mean, those dudes’ whole lives consist of nothing but being exposed to weird and wild shit. Then again, who would ever expect that a middle aged man who calls himself “Boy” and dresses in drag would be into something kinky like chaining dudes to walls? I know, I’m shocked too.
Photo Credit: YouTube/Boy George
Fred Willard may have gotten the more recent headlines but when it comes to getting busted for beating off in a movie theater, no one can compare with the OG of theater jackers, the one, the only Pee-Wee Herman. What made this so especially ridiculous was that it made everyone picture Pee-Wee sitting in a porno theater, giggling like a madman and beating off before getting dragged away by the police, his pants around his ankles. But then it got even better when the mugshot was released and it turned out that the dude who played Pee-Wee looked like, well, like that. I mean, look at that mugshot! Now that’s a dude you’d expect to find jerking off in a public theater. The juxtaposition of that picture and that arrest with the image of the innocent and sweet Pee-Wee Herman took this whole affair from ridiculous to legendary and that’s why whenever anyone gets busted in a theater giving himself a handy, it will forever be known as “pulling a Pee-Wee.” Such a noble legacy.
Photo Credit: YouTube/Warner Bros.
How could anyone else be number one on this list? After all, Ozzy Osbourne is pretty much the king of everything ridiculous, including ridiculous arrests. I mean this is a dude who’s been hauled into court for everything from general drunken mischief to inciting teenagers to suicide. But the pinnacle of Ozzy’s, uh, career has to be the time he was arrested for getting even drunker than usual and pissing in public. But that doesn’t sound that ridiculous you say? Well, how about this – he wasn’t just pissing in public, he was pissing on the goddamn Alamo! That’s right, Ozzy Osbourne got shitfaced drunk and pissed all over Texas’ most beloved landmark. Now that’s rock and roll. Oh, and one more thing: Ozzy was wearing his wife’s dress when he did it. I rest my case.
Photo Credit: YouTube/MTV