Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more. Strap in. It could get bumpy.
just went through my own timeline and god i am such a fucking loser
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 20, 2014
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Note to self: don’t read my own timeline.
If Richard Sherman were white instead of black, The Seahawks lose that game.
— Anthony Jeselnik (@anthonyjeselnik) January 20, 2014
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This is true.
Film don't lie… @nflnetwork @espn pull up the tape of that game and show me where this guy is the best? #fake #fake #fake
— Michael Crabtree (@KingCrab15) January 20, 2014
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Hmmm…
Straight out of the Roddy Piper playbook. RT @RSherman_25 A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of a sheep.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) January 20, 2014
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You sure?
Guys. It wasn't a good promo.You don't need to scream. Plus he didn't even say "let me tell you something", "here's the thing", or "brother"
— Coach (@CMPunk) January 20, 2014
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See?
While I'm excited for the Super Bowl, I'm going to take these next two weeks to write more radical feminist poetry. Hope you do the same.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) January 20, 2014
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On it.
I would like to see who would let who finish in a battle between Kanye and #RichardSherman… Super Bowl commercial please?!?
— Aubrey O'Day (@AubreyODay) January 20, 2014
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Oh God…
Ha! Not even close! Loved the emotion! #nocliche Can't wait for NY RT @fawcett_is_2k: I'm sorry @RSherman_25 scared you tonight
— Erin Andrews (@ErinAndrews) January 20, 2014
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She’s on Team Bring It.
Assuming someone, at some point, has called a hotel desk and asked to be moved to a room farther away from Richard Sherman.
— Seth Meyers (@sethmeyers) January 20, 2014
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Also probably true.
Does anyone actually pay for netflix or are we all just sharing the same password?
— James Deen (@JamesDeen) January 20, 2014
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Shhh.
Did I really say 'The Pacers showed their entire package' on the air tonight? Uh yes, yes I did.
— Steve Kerr (@SteveKerrTNT) January 21, 2014
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Glad I missed that game.
I'm going to stop replying to idiots on here
— Jourdan Dunn (@missjourdandunn) January 21, 2014
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But then who will I talk to?
I would let @RSherman_25 babysit my children
They need more discipline in their athletics
Don'tpeakat14
— Kenny Mayne (@Kenny_Mayne) January 21, 2014
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Sounds like a good movie plot.
I'm not sure how to use 4square but I'm at Burbank airport taking a dump.
— Jay Mohr (@jaymohr37) January 21, 2014
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Close enough.
This app has to be the reason peoplr publicly send DMs and get in trouble echofon can s the d
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 21, 2014
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Wait, what did we miss?
Every news headline sounds like a cheesy magician's opening line – "You Won't Believe What This Abandonded Puppy Looks Like Now"
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) January 21, 2014
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He’s right, you know?
In addition to "favorite", twitter should have a "oh, shut up you humorless lump of nothing" star.
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) January 22, 2014
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That would be so fantastic.
I'm sure there are white men that will disagree and will prove you otherwise RT @MzMendoza: @ochocinco once you go black you never go back
— Chad Johnson (@ochocinco) January 22, 2014
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They’d be lying.
Ernest Hemingway's terse sentences would've made him great for Twitter. He also had advanced mastery of shirtless pics.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 22, 2014
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Hemingway Selfie!
One of my Facebook friends announced his mother passed away, so thoughtful of everyone to "like" it.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) January 22, 2014
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Speaking of buttons on social media…
Sometimes I just sit around thinking about the time Robert Reed pronounced it "week-END" on the Brady Bunch.
— Jen Kirkman (@JenKirkman) January 22, 2014
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Seems like a valuable use of time.
If you call me 8 times and I dont answer, then call me from a blocked number, chances are I still know its YOU
— Abigail Ratchford (@AbiRatchford) January 22, 2014
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Dammit, she figured me out.
Perfect Valentines day date idea: buy me adderall then leave
— alexandria morgan (@AlexandriaMorgz) January 23, 2014
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Duly noted.
FACT: If you look an entertainment reporter in the eye and say "Hey. Hey. Hey. Please go away." by law they have to leave the country
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 23, 2014
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I was not aware of this.
You text him, he doesn’t text back. He was obviously so excited that you texted him that he fainted.
— Amy Weber (@TherealAmyWeber) January 23, 2014
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Yep, that’s it. She figured it out.
It’s as if every 2 year old has been instructed to eat in the most ridiculous way possible.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 23, 2014
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We should all eat like them.
Just having the balls to go to Sochi should garner medals.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 23, 2014
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Good choice, IOC.
I'm the best reporter in the game. When you try me w/ a sorry reporter like Jeremy Schaap in Sochi, that's the result you're going get. LOB.
— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) January 23, 2014
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LOB, indeed.
If you're about to leave the house in a fedora, look in the mirror and ask yourself "should I be wearing this fedora?" and then take it off
— Abigail Ratchford (@AbiRatchford) January 23, 2014
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You going to argue with her?
I just found a heated bench and honestly nothing better has ever happened to my butt.
— erinn hayes (@hayeslady) January 23, 2014
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Nothing?
Stop picking on Bieber. That's somebody's daughter.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) January 23, 2014
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Leave Bieber Alone!
One of the greatest pleasures in life is watching people frantically try to quiet their phone when an embarrassing ringtone plays.
— A.J. (@WWEAJLee) January 23, 2014
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That is pretty great.
i just hope his cellmates wear protection. justin has been with a lot of prostitutes.
— daniel tosh (@danieltosh) January 23, 2014
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That’s true.
They finally caught HIM! Glad no one was hurt, no kids in the street. Everyone grows up at some point. Hopefully he learns from it.
— Keyshawn Johnson (@Thromedamnball) January 23, 2014
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Key is his neighbor, by the way.
Justin Bieber never ever forget you have raisin balls
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) January 23, 2014
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Have a great weekend, everybody!