Adderall is a gift from the Gods sent down to college students and bloggers which helps them buckle down and get shit done during crunch time. College Finals = Aderallapalooza. This bro apparently got the memo that Adderall will turn you into the world’s smartest human being for several hours at a time, he didn’t however get the memo on what Adderall looks like: tiny orange pills for the non-time released and pill capsules with tiny orange balls for the time released Adderall XR. Instead of popping an addy this bro got his blood pumping in an entirely different way:
TIFU by studying for finals by OkieBokeh
Being a college freshman I’ve been mercilessly studying for finals trying to cram as much information as I can. Now usually I don’t believe in performance enhancing drugs but feeling overwhelmed I decide that the best possible solution to get the most studying is to pop an adderall first thing the next morning. My roommate as an assortment of perscription drugs in his dresser and he says I could have one. After some late night studying I hope into bed at around 2am. I wake up at 7, stumble out of bed half asleep, grab a pill from his dresser, and grab some breakfast. I start eating waiting for the drugs to kick in, expecting to feel something. About halfway into my egg sandwich, i start to feel it. Unfortunately it wasn’t hawk like focus you would imagine getting in an adderall. No it was more like the largest boner I ever had in my life. Then it hits me…
oh fuck I took one of my roommate’s viagra.
I don’t know why my roommate has viagra but it sure does work. Try studying for finals not being able to focus and with a four hour erection
TL;DR Tried studying for finals, ended being the hardest day of my life.
Edit: My roommate told me they were the pills loose in his drawer, me not knowing what the difference in pills were just took the first one I grabbed, yes I’m stupid, I get it. Also it deflated on its own in four hours, if it lasted any longer I would have called a doctor.
In college I was prescribed those 30mg time released Adderalls that’d keep you awake for 24 hours with the laser focus of a jet fighter pilot. Finals were a breeze. I’d wait until 36 hours out and just start cramming. One time I even missed an exam in the middle of a semester because I showed up the first day of class to get the syllabus and then showed up to class for my second time to take the exam a month later only to find out the teacher had distributed out a revised syllabus on the 2nd day of the class. I got a 0 on that exam and still managed to get an A in the course because Adderall is so effective.
So I totally get where this bro is coming from. It just sucks that he somehow managed to fuck up his entire study routine by popping a viagra. The blood he needed coursing through his heart and brain was instead redirected to his dong, and that did him no favors in the studying department.