How Am I Just Seeing This University Of Washington Girls Hoops Star Who Doesn’t Jump When She Shoots?

The answer to the question in the headline is an obvious one: I’m guilty of lunching on girls college basketball since Brittney Griner punched that chick in the smeller back in uh, I forget when. What have I missed the past 10 years? Has UConn lost yet? Do they keep replaying that video of Lisa Leslie dunking back when Clinton was President?

I’m honestly embarrassed that I’ve been over here posting about baby goats having powerful orgasms while Chantel Osahor was leading U Washington to their first ever Final Four, all while literally not leaving the ground.

According to Seattle Times,

Chantel Osahor, UW’s 6-2 center, averaged 14.5 points and 15.0 rebounds per game in the NCAA tournament; she is as skilled a passer as any post player you will find; she has been playing through a broken nose, an aching left foot and bad knees.

Bad knees huh? Never would have guessed that the chick whose shot you couldn’t slide a sheet of computer paper under was experiencing knee problems. “Hey Chantel, I know you have zero cartilage left in your knees, but can you go out there and drop 18 and 10 for the good of the team? We’ll chip in for your inevitable double knee replacement after the season. k thanks!”

Chantel Osahor certainly has the numbers to take her game to the next level. Just not sure her combine numbers will wow the WNBA scouts. We’ll have to wait and see. I’ll check back in 10 years.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.