Jim Harbaugh Belts Out The National Anthem During A Lil Dicky Concert, Continues To Revolutionize Recruiting Game

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is absolutely nothing Jim Harbaugh wouldn’t do to make Michigan the best football team in the country. I’m pretty sure the dude would fuck a goat and put it on PornHub if it meant that one more five-star recruit would sign he dotted line. He is college football’s Kim Kardashian, the only difference being I completely respect the guy. He’s revolutionized the college football recruiting game. Flipped the script. I’m just waiting for Jimmy to appear on an episode of Man vs. Wild where if he drinks his own piss and eats cougar shit to survive, he gets the number one QB recruit in the nation. Come on Jim, don’t be a pussy.

P.S. Name one player Jim. You can’t. You’d tattoo a goddamn swastika on your forehead if it helped your cause. It’s so blatant, I respect it.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.