Big weekend in Kentucky. The Kentucky Derby is going down this weekend so the priorities are to get shitfaced on mint juleps and hitting on equally inebriated females while you unknowingly have a mint leaf stuck in your front teeth. Ain’t nobody got time to study for exams with the ponies running on Saturday. So why not steal the exam papers and have all the answers so you have more time to party? That may have been the thought process of two students at the University of Kentucky.
Henry Lynch II, a 21-year-old junior majoring in biosystems engineering, and Troy Kiphuth, a 21-year-old sophomore, infiltrated a professor’s office by crawling through the air ducts of the building à la John McClane in Die Hard. But the UK students were no John fucking McClane because they got busted.
From the Lexington Herald Leader:
According to UK Police, UK statistics instructor John Cain had been working late in his third-floor office in the Multidisciplinary Science Building on Rose Street on Tuesday night. About midnight, he left to get something to eat. When he returned about 1:30 a.m., he tried to unlock the door, but it was blocked by something.
“He yelled out that he was calling the police and then the door swung open and two young men ran down the hallway,” recounted UK spokesman Jay Blanton.
What are the odds that your professor is at his office at 1:30 a.m.?
Lynch professed that he climbed through the building’s air ducts to the ceiling above Cain’s office and dropped down into the room, then unlocked the door and let Kiphuth in. The student admitted that he attempted to steal the exam earlier around 6 p.m., but couldn’t find the office.
Lynch even confessed that earlier in the semester, he successfully stole another exam from Cain’s office.
University of Kentucky Police cited both students with third-degree burglary, which will get referred to Fayette Circuit Court.
The kicker is that Kiphuth isn’t even in that statistics class and was just helping his boy commit Mission Impossible-y crimes.
And they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for their meddling night owl professor.
[TIME]
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