You’ll Probably Hate The Kid Who Got Accepted By Every Ivy League School This Year

That right there is Harold Ekeh, and this spring he was accepted into every Ivy League school in the nation. I don’t think I could even name all eight Ivy League schools off the top of my head.

Let’s try.

Yale, Harvard, Cornell, Penn, Columbia, Brown, Dartmouth and … I have no idea.

(Ahh, Princeton. I forgot Princeton. Probably couldn’t get in there. )

And while I said you’ll hate Ekeh, he sounds like a really nice guy. So I know I would have hated him in high school. You probably would have too, because he sounds so nice and smart. From the New York Post:

Elmont Memorial HS senior Harold Ekeh boasts a grade-point average of 100.5 percent, an SAT score of 2270 and was a semifinalist for the national Intel Science Talent Search.

Ekeh now has his pick of the nation’s elite institutions of higher learning: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth and the University of Pennsylvania — none of which accept more than 14 percent of applicants.

Good for him, the bastard. He and his family only moved to America ten years ago, and they will make you feel bad about all the things you’ve never done. Which is essentially all of the things. How many Ivys did you get accepted into? That’s right. None.

Ekeh moved to New York from Nigeria at age 8 and wowed admissions officers with an essay about the challenges he braved while “coming to America,” he said.

My parents left comfortable lives in Nigeria for their kids to have opportunities. So I take advantage of every single opportunity that has been afforded to me,” said Ekeh, who hopes to become a neurosurgeon.

In his free time he does what most other teens his age don’t do — toiling over biochemistry experiments. His grandma’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis — and his own inspiration to find a cure for the degenerative brain disease — fueled his passion for science, he said.

You mean he’s not drinking Hurricanes and passing blunts back and forth in the back seat of a car? Is that why I didn’t get into Colgate? (I didn’t even apply to any Ivy.)

Anyways, good for him, the bastard. I couldn’t be more impressed and more jealous and hate him with every fiber in my body.

But seriously, I am very proud of this dude.

I just wish I’d done something with my life now.

According to the New York Post, he’s thinking about going to Yale.