The Ohio State Marching Band Is Filled with Horny College Kids, Has EXTREMELY Vulgar Fight Songs

Think fraternities and sororities are the only ones accused of hazing people on a college campus? Think again! THE Ohio State University’s proud marching band is the subject of an extensive University investigation on hazing allegations. It’s not a good look for the Best Damn Band in the Land. Samer Kalaf at Deadspin did a great job digging up some of the amusing highlights of the report, including one about a female stupid sitting on laps pretending to orgasm nicknamed “Squirt.” Band director Jonathan Waters has been fired because of the University’s report

Screengrabs from the report via Deadspin:

 

 

How does one get the nickname “Tulsa” and how is that sexually suggestive? Is a “Tulsa” some sort of depraved act like a Rusty Trombone?

Update: OH, I get it: “A slut” spelled backwards.

Also: I actually laughed out loud when I read that a kid nicknamed “Captain Dildo” screamed “Haaaaay, we want some pussssaay.” I can literally hear Captain Dildo screaming this in my head.

Next up: More nicknames from the report, including “Tits McGee” and “Twinkle Dick.”

 

They also have vulgar songs about other Big Ten schools, set to the school’s fight song:

 

And! Vulgar songs set to NON-fight songs:

 

 

Band kids: They’re never as innocent as they seem.

Read the whole report over at Deadspin… 

 

 

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's publisher, writing on this site since 2009. He writes about sports, music, men's fashion, outdoor gear, traveling, skiing, and epic adventures. Based in Los Angeles, he also enjoys interviewing athletes and entertainers. Proud Penn State alum, former New Yorker. Email: brandon@brobible.com