It’s been a little over a month since we told you about how students at the University of Maryland are possibly going to get boned out of their off-campus housing opportunities, and not much has changed — well, except for that the election is tomorrow (I REPEAT, TOMORROW) and that the students down in College Park have a chance to swap out an old, crusty incumbent with a former student named Ryan Belcher who’s currently running for City Council.
Now, I know going out of your way to vote is sort of a buzzkill in the sense that you could be doing other activities to further your college career instead, like drinking at Bentley’s or…yeah that’s really it. You could always go chill at a weekend day drink in one of the satellite houses behind Frat Row and the Graham Cracker, but that’s not going to be possible if y’all don’t vote in Ryan Belcher AND Robert Day, aka the only council member who actually gives a shit about you. For one, current City Council members advocated for a county change phasing out students from renting off-campus properties. According to the Diamondback:
A new Prince George’s County proposal aims to limit rental housing options for university students living near the campus.
The bill, “Single Family Neighborhood Stabilization Overlay Zone,” would allow College Park and any area within two miles of a higher education institute to request an overlay zone that prohibits new rental permits and stop residents from renting property to others.
And for two, do you REALLY want a total hypocrite voting on the city laws that have the ability to screw you over? I’m sure most of you have taken a stroll down College Avenue on the weekends — generally the area is pretty clean save for an empty can of Natty Lite here or there, but what’s a bigger eyesore: a random can of beer sitting out on a lawn, or dilapidated house that looks like it’s been abandoned since ‘Nam? And what sounds more fair to you: that the house with a Natty Lite can in the front yard gets fined by the city, or that a shit house gets to continue looking like a squatter’s paradise without any repercussions?
If you’re smart (and since you go to UMD we’re going to assume you are), you’ve already connected the dots; a certain City Council member who lives in a ratchet-ass gangbang crackhead home towards the metro at the end of Knox road likes to keep their house looking like shit despite the fact that said person rides their bicycle around at 7:00 a.m. on Saturdays to call code for every visible beer can left sitting out from the night before.
That, my friends, is what we call “a load of crap.”
The house has supposedly looked like total ass since as far back as the late 80’s, and while rented student homes get fined for nitpicky issues like sagging gutters or flaking paint this City Council member has the gall to not only leave their house looking like crap for upwards of 20 years but goes around fining students for much lesser infractions. We really shouldn’t say specifically which house it is, but honestly if you walk all the way down Knox it shouldn’t be that hard to pick out. For the 2 years I lived back there I couldn’t figure out if the house was abandoned. Now I know the truth.
Clearly, College Park’s City Council plays favorites when it comes to its adult residents versus its students, which is why y’all need to get up off your asses and vote for Ryan Belcher and Ryan Day tomorrow. I know I said that voting is a chore and takes valuable time out of your day that could be spent drinking, but you know what? I’m a reasonable person so I’m willing to compromise. All you have to do is vote for Ryan Belcher tomorrow at City Hall (that shitstain of a building across from Ledo’s where you go to pay parking tickets) between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 p.m., and then you can celebrate the fact that you’re sticking it to the man by going to Bentley’s afterwards. Shit, I’ll even buy you a drink at Homecoming this weekend if you legit vote.
If you live in a rental property off of College Avenue or Knox you can (and SHOULD) vote on your walk to class. God forbid the Green bus runs during the day when students would actually ride it, so the fact that you’re literally walking right by City Hall means there’s no excuse to not vote.
Besides, if you won’t vote out of the need to be a vindictive bitch who don’t take shit from no authority (me), vote for yourself and the future students of UMD — rental homes are the only decently priced housing option in the area, and Ryan Belcher along with Robert Day want to keep them available to all students for the years to come.