There’s nothing quite as quintessentially ‘collegiate’ as rubbing one out in a cup for beer money. And this is precisely what the world’s largest sperm bank, Cryos International, had in mind when they decided to move their U.S. headquarters from NYC to just across the street from the University of Central Florida (UCF).
That’s right, in an effort to rustle up some more splooge the world’s largest sperm bank is taking up residence next to Florida’s largest university, with an undergraduate population of 58,587. Cut that in half and that’s A LOT of dudes able to fill cups.
Officials said the new location is an “ideal location to conduct research and accumulate new donors,” adding that the relocation is a reflection of the company’s increasing growth and heightened international presence.
“The Metro Orlando area has expanded in recent years to become a thriving biomedical community, rich in research facilities and laboratories. Along with a growing job market, Orlando is experiencing great expansions in medical research with governmental support at city and county levels,” the company said in a statement. “Cryos will contribute to this growth, merging partnerships with the area’s best hospitals, specialists and medical professionals.”
The bank’s opening is scheduled for April 6, but donor candidates can begin the application process now at the company’s website.
Whoever came up with the ingenious plan to move their headquarters across the street from a college deserves a HUGE raise. However, whoever came up with the plan to choose a college in Florida deserves to be fired. As a native Floridian I can attest to the fact that our citizens are just as crazy in real life as they are in the news, and just because a dude’s in college doesn’t mean he’s fit to bring life into this world by means of spunk. Cryos International claims to have sent sperm to over 70 COUNTRIES around the world, just imagine what life would be like if Florida began to leak around the globe like that!