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If you ever want to feel really bad about yourself, I suggest you try and calculate how much money you’ve spent on alcohol over the course of your life. While sober people and Mormons probably won’t feel too depressed, I’m willing to bet a lot of people reading this will regret some of the decisions they’ve made and decide to have a drink or five to make themselves feel better.
You may have made some poor choices in the past, but there are plenty of ways to save money on booze in the future. The easiest method is probably to start drinking less, but if you want to maintain your habits of old without burning a hole in your wallet, you might want to look into moving to China as soon as possible and taking advantage of an upcoming promotion.
It might cost you a bit to totally uproot your life and move to another country, but if you drink long enough, it will probably be worth it in the long run. On November 11, the giant online retailer Alibaba will be selling lifetime supplies of Jiang Xiao Bai baijiu for the low price of 11,111 yuan (which amounts to $1,673 based on the current conversion rate).
The promotion is part of Singles Day, the Chinese equivalent of Black Friday. According to The Guardian, the name of the shopping holiday refers to the collection of “lonely number ones,” which explains the comparatively low price (the company usually offers a lifetime supply of the 80 proof spirit for over $15,000). They provided more details, saying:
The first 33 customers to buy the lifetime supply of booze will receive 12 bottles of baijiu every month until their demise, and can leave the steady stream of alcohol to a family member if they die within five years of their purchase.
The only real downside is that the deal expires if the company goes bankrupt, which seems like a fairly realistic possibility based on the nature of the promotion. However, it’ll be a pretty sweet ride up until that point.