This Resume Is So Unimpressive The Guy Should Get A Job Just Out Of Pity

Awful resume 2

Here’s a little bit of inside baseball, dear readers. I’m unemployed. Well, I’m underemployed. I write part time for a few different websites besides BroBible. I haven’t had a full-time job since last October, but it isn’t for lack of trying. Trying to get a job is itself a full-time job.

There are probably thousands of reasons I’m unemployed (besides lack of talent), but I’m positive that a key factor is the sheer number of applications flooding a company’s inbox after posting a position. Now, most of the applicants are pure shit, but the people responsible for hiring have to go through each submission. Once a person gets a handful of resumes like this one, it’s no wonder companies either promote from within or just give the hell up.

I’m not sure what position this guy is applying for, but he’s probably incredibly over qualified. Unless the job is “sane person with a strong grasp of English.” Then he’s screwed.

Awful resume

This guy has fought bears by lifting them up with one arm, can run faster than a train and is willing to work for free. No wonder I can’t find work. This guy is totally out-hustling me.

[via Reddit]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.