New FDA Study Claims That Black Licorice Is Very, Very Bad For You

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I’m thinking of running for President by centering my campaign around bringing an end to crime in the United States altogether. Impossible, you say? Hear me out. We give every American citizen a piece of black licorice wrapped in a small, clear plastic package, accompanied with a device deciphers whether that package has been opened. Those who open the package to retrieve the black licorice, we send law enforcement units to their homes to slap them in cuffs and lock them away until they are rehabilitated. A vote for anyone else is a vote for serial killers. Your choice.

And my campaign will only be bolstered by this new US Food and Drug Administration report.

In a report released Monday, the FDA claims, “If you’re 40 or older, eating 2 ounces of black licorice a day for at least two weeks could land you in the hospital with an irregular heart rhythm or arrhythmia.” According to Business Insider, two ounces is about five Twizzler-size ropes of licorice.

The FDA claims that the sweetening com pain in licorice root–glycryrhizin–can raise levels of sodium and reduce levels of potassium in one’s body. This sudden reduction in potassium can cause some people to experience abnormal heart rhythms, high blood pressure, swelling, or congestive heart failure.

You’ve been warned.

[h/t Business Insider]

 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.