Attorney General Investigating Pathetic Brooklyn Pizza Festival Being Dubbed The ‘Fyre Festival Of Pizza’

by 3 months ago

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If something or someone is ever referred to as the “Fyre Festival of…,” it sucks the hardest. My lady once called me the ‘Fyre Festival of Sex’ because there was a lot of promise and not a lot of delivery. She was kidding. I hope.

In any event, a disastrous Brooklyn pizza festival is currently being dubbed the ‘Fyre Festival of Pizza’ after charging patrons $75 a head and serving them slivers of cold pizza slices at a “shady” Brooklyn parking lot, NBC New York reports.  It was such a disappointing shit show that state prosecutors are launching an investigation into the event.

The event, which took place in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Bushwick on Saturday, was promoted as a “day long celebration of the dough, cheese, tasty sauces and delicious toppings,” but ended up being a collection of near-empty tents serving cold, tiny, pizza slices.

A dude by the name of Connell Burke attended the festival and described how pathetic it was to Gothamist.

“It was my girlfriend’s birthday so I got the VIP tickets, so I spent $150 total for the two tickets,” Burke told Gothamist. “There’s three pop-up tents to my left, one where they’re taking cold pizzas out of delivery boxes and cutting them. Those pictures don’t do it justice, because they look like they’re normal-sized plates but they’re actually cake-sized, like what you’d use for cake at a children’s birthday party. They’re small, tiny little slivers of pizza.”

Describing the photo below, Michael Redmond said, “Was supposed to start at 3, finally got in after 4 and this is what we found… a shot of all the great pizzas we sampled!”


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