Jim Beam
Smart speaker assistants are so hot right now. Whether it is Amazon‘s Alexa, Siri, or Cortana, intelligent personal assistants are changing the world by allowing lazy people to make phone calls, play music, get the weather or order pork rinds just by simply asking for them. Now there’s finally an intelligent personal assistant that is actually worth its weight in whiskey. The Jim Beam Smart Decanter will pour your bourbon with a simple voice command. Isn’t technology awesome!?!?!
Meet “JIM,” the world’s first smart decanter. The groundbreaking and technologically advanced Jim Beam Smart Decanter dispenses whiskey without lifting a finger. JIM is voiced by 7th Generation Master Distiller, Fred Noe, and answers all of your pressing questions regarding bourbon. Priced at $35, JIM is sold on Jim Beam’s website, but only one per customer and is only available in very limited quantities. Sadly, JIM is temporarily out of stock, but the page advises potential consumers to “check back soon for JIM to return.”
Who needs a smart speaker that makes your dentist appointment? JIM is here to make one important appointment, get drunk without pouring your own shots. Unfortunately, this very well could be a marketing stunt, the likes of KFC’s “escape pod.” If this is not real, some astute entrepreneur should make the smart decanter a reality. Kickstarter that shit immediately.