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I had a co-worker at my internship in college who I would swoon over every day. I’d precisely time my trips to the break room to coincide with hers. Rack my brain for interesting conversation starters. Shit, I’d even iron my shirts in the mornings.
That was all until one day in July 2009. I looked over at her cube, like I did every 8 minutes, and I witnessed her picking her nose AND eating it. I shit you not. And it was clear as day. No way she could have possibly be doing anything other than chomping on one of her nose goblins. Everything I ever felt for her immediately left my body like an exorcism. I found out after I went back to school that she had a crush on me, and I felt nothing. Amazing what one mid-day snack can do to a crush.
A Redditor posed the question: What is something that instantly killed a crush that you had on someone? And people came out in the thousands to share their stories. Here are the most scintillating:
He got visibly annoyed when I didn’t order what he suggested off of a menu
Mine was more subtle… the first thing that came of her mouth to talk about former people she had dated was economic issues. You know:
“Oh, he was loaded”
“Oh, he took me to Paris for the weekend”.
Made me realize her priorities.
Googling him and finding his Wedding Registry. For that weekend.
She invited me to a small party and the main activity was that we all sat round a table while she asked us pre-scripted getting-to-know-you questions.
Then she invited me to an even smaller and totally-different-sounding party and did it again.
Saw how she treated her doormat of a boyfriend. It was almost cartoonish the way she ordered him to do things and constantly criticized him. She found a guy who knew he was out of his league and totally took advantage of it. Her appeal disappeared pretty quickly after that.
The odd thing is that I had apparently been acting kind of standoffish and boring around her while the crush was on. Once I was over her, I loosened up and acted more like myself and then she started talking to me more. Realizing that I had been making myself less appealing was a nice lesson to learn from that.
I saw the guy who I had a crush on, off and on for all of high school attempt to shave his arm hairs with one of the ten lighters he had in his backpack by burning off the hairs.
FYI, He doesn’t smoke either. He just really likes fire.
We were out driving and he swerved the vehicle to deliberately hit a sparrow whilst laughing.
Yeah nah, bye..
Because she loved the fact that, according to her, every male friend of her wanted to have sex with her, so she could just keep guys around and fuck them whenever she wanted. That kind of ultra-narcissism killed it for me.
She was super intelligent and clever, but thought it was cuter to play dumb all the time.
And not just a little dumb, like totally-behind-the-curve stupid. She knew that part of what always attracted me was that she was always so comfortable being herself around me (sweet and intellectual) but in public she just refused to act like she had any wits about her. Most of my (and her own) friends really jut thought she was a cute idiot.
They always had to be right, and if they were wrong they’d manipulate it to where they were somehow right.
To check out some more sad stories, head over to Reddit.