Awful week. Just bottom of the barrel week. I can’t look at my News Feed without being overcome with anxiety and debilitating sadness. I don’t let enough joy into my life. And that changes today, expedited by this rescued Saint Bernard named Mochi.
Mochi recently secured herself a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the “longest dog tongue” on the planet. Mochi’s licker measures 7.3 inches from snout to tip or, in other words, four of your penises. Just kidding, bro, this positivity thing is a work in progress.
Mochi was abused and neglected for the first two years of her life, but found a loving home with South Dakotan (word?) couple Carla and Craig Rickert. FUCK YA MOCHI!
Hey while we’re at it, lets venture down the doggie tongue rabbit hole.
Ok I feel better now.