Do you despise both teams at the Super Bowl 52 and are hoping for an asteroid to deny the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles to win the big game? Well, there actually is an asteroid buzzing Earth on Super Bowl Sunday, but the Eagles and Patriots will be safe. Saturday Night Live imagined what if Bostonians and Philadelphians trash-talked against each other during the Revolutionary War and how both sides would also make that important moment in history an un-rootable situation for the other colonies.
SNL presented a Hamilton-esque sketch where former Saturday Night Live standouts Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch represented Philadelphia and Boston respectively. The skit was set in 1775 when representatives from the 13 American colonies met to address the uprising against England. In the end, many of the colonies wondered if they could actually root for Philadelphia and Boston in the uprising because of their obnoxious supporters. The episode’s host, Natalie Portman, was on the side of the New Englanders and really tried to have a Boston accent. They praised their great Captain Thomas Brady, who led a valiant comeback with his great cannon at Bunker Hill. The Philadelphians bring good tidings by offering some Wawa hoagie as the Patriots chug Dunkin’ coffee in a nod to their regional cuisine.
Fey was team Philly and properly pronounced “water” and youse” in perfect Philadelphia inflection. “Like eagles, we Philadelphians are swift, we are deadly, and our eyes are a little too close together,” Fey said. “We crossed many waters up the Schuylkill River to give all yous a message. Philly is mad strong. From the little babies to all our mom moms and pop pops, we’s ready to fight!” Fey declared. “So grease up dem poles, cause Philly’s gonna win and then one of these guys is gonna punch a police horse.” Fey was referring to the two Eagles fans who punched police horses last month during playoff games. Joining Fey was Kenan Thompson, whose character was from “West Philadelphia, born and raised.”