Arkansas Department of Transportation
Keep the stoners in Little Rock, Arkansas in your prayers today, as an 18-wheeler was barreling down Interstate 30 when it ran into a bridge support, spilling hundreds of DiGiorno and Tombstone frozen pizzas on the freeway below.
According to the AP, Arkansas highway officials shut down westbound lanes of a cross-country interstate for four hours so crews could help wrangle the pizza casualties.
Feast your eyes on a sad, sad, sight.
It's not delivery, it's (1,000) DiGiourno! Crews scoop up pepperoni pies plastered on I-30 #ARNews pic.twitter.com/2SV9JdLqg1
— Emma Pettit (@EmmaJanePettit) August 9, 2017
Agency spokesman Danny Straessle said the bridge suffered only cosmetic damage. He says “there were some people shaken up” but that no one was hurt.
“But there’s a lot of frozen pizzas laying out on the interstate right now,” Danny Straessle said. “Lots of pizza fatalities.”
Not sure what I’d prefer: an 18-wheeler spill of dodgy cats or a tragedy of delicious frozen pizzas. One just shits in a box and pretends I don’t exist while the other lets me forget my problems after a bong rip. I think I’ve made my decision.
I guess one thing’s for sure: DiGiorno is going to have to change its slogan: It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno causing a traffic jam on the freeway.
[h/t AP]