First off, let’s get this right out of the way. Yes, I am WELL aware that a vast majority of the people competing in the PyeongChang Winter Olympics are, in fact, millennials. And as CNN points out, they are also the ones winning most of the medals despite their relative inexperience in life.
“Age is an interesting aspect of elite sport, and the impact of age on sports performance can vary greatly, dependent upon many variables,” said Amber Donaldson, senior director of sports medicine clinics for the US Olympic Committee.
“Younger athletes have the advantage of faster physical recovery as well as an attitude of ‘nothing to lose,’ which allows them to leave it all on the field of play,” she said.
But as younger athletes tend to be more inexperienced, new struggles arise outside the arena.
“The younger athlete may struggle with the added pressure and distractions that accompany the Olympic stage,” she said, “and they want to make their mark in history while representing their country.”
So yes, I know that the average age of the U.S. athletes is 26.5 years. You can put away your internet torches and just take this for what it is: funny.
Anyway, with the Winter Olympics going strong over in South Korea, Twitter decided it would come up with its own set of extra special games called “Millennial Olympic Events.” And by “own set” I mean that Twitter has come up with hundreds of events perfect for the average millennial, one without elite-level athletic talent, in which they would surely have a pretty good shot at a podium finish.
App-Logo Memory #MillennialOlympicEvents pic.twitter.com/nrtOYgLm9f
— St.Renato😇🇳🇱MartyrLazyBones ♓🤓🍄🎱 (@WhyHelloRenato) February 21, 2018
Moustache Curling #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Roy Bright (@CulinaryGeekRoy) February 21, 2018
Synchronized Snapchat Selfies #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Shanna 🍍🥥︽✵︽ (@PinaCocoTweets) February 21, 2018
#MillennialOlympicEvents Texting and Walking with Obstacles pic.twitter.com/9k67JUIoCC
— ♫ Adriano&Paulina ♫ (@keet0007) February 21, 2018
Smoking mad blunts and blasting hella dabs #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Today's Herbal Choice Fremont (@THCFremont) February 21, 2018
https://twitter.com/dindunuffinyt/status/966381047909834753
#MillennialOlympicEvents Cross Country Moving Back Home
— 𝖆𝖖𝖚𝖒𝖆 (@Aquma) February 21, 2018
Tide pod eating contest #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Shadow Banned (@SaltySaltine828) February 21, 2018
Ski jumping to conclusions #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Jason (@JasonFHernandez) February 21, 2018
The Can’t Even Bars#MillennialOlympicEvents pic.twitter.com/zsem0DrBkp
— jonathan (@TheRealJmar) February 21, 2018
Who has the most degrees but no job #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Theresa (@tlcprincess) February 21, 2018
Synchronized Drowning In Debt? #MillennialOlympicEvents pic.twitter.com/I3A8PzDdAu
— Vince Kesavamoorthy (@VinceKes) February 21, 2018
#MillennialOlympicEvents Netflix binging
— Ladyfish🦈 (@Ladyfish666) February 21, 2018
Writing cursive. #MillennialOlympicEvents pic.twitter.com/L9W9ttHiMe
— Alisun Jane (@AlisunJane) February 21, 2018
Figure Vaping#MillennialOlympicEvents
— DustinGordon (@DustinG_86) February 21, 2018
Hot Cheetos eating contest #MillennialOlympicEvents pic.twitter.com/dBSNiiNQ31
— Kim (@Th3lif3ofKim) February 21, 2018
Adulting #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Coyote Jockey 🇺🇸 (@KCconcealed) February 21, 2018
Just collecting trophies, no events needed #MillennialOlympicEvents
— Bonerfide Killer🌺 (@Alohababe2011) February 21, 2018
trending hashtag is #MillennialOlympicEvents . Ooh ooh ooh, I've got one
Taking yourself entirely too seriously, and writing snarky and angry tweets about anything lightheartedly targeted at you
Don't believe me? Read the trending tweets in this hashtag, some gold medals there
— J. Edgar, of Contemporary 🎙 (@jedgar102) February 21, 2018
Like I said…