I’ve never met Justin Bieber’s dad, Jeremy. He very well could be a nice guy who donates turkeys to homeless shelters on Thanksgiving and leaves positive Yelp reviews. Oh wait, he was reportedly arrested and charged with assault causing bodily harm twice and failing to comply with the terms of his probation? Nice, so I don’t feel bad when I say that I’ve never laid my eyes on a bigger fuckboi.
I made the decision to start following 40-year-old Jeremy Biebs on Instagram after I stumbled across pics of him looking like a world class tool at his engagement party and it was the best worst decision I’ve ever made. He is the perfect mix of Chris Angel and Uncle Rico. He’s the dude who cuts off a funeral procession in his tricked out Honda Civic blasting ‘Only the Good Die Young.’ And the most infuriating thing is, I don’t think anyone has told him he’s 40.
Until now. I took the liberty of doing God’s work and trudging throw Jeremy Bieber’s Instagram account to find the 10 pictures that scream Fuckboi Fuckman.
*****
I don’t know what number those roman numerals represent, but I’d venture to guess that it’s the number of years too old Jeremy is to wear that shirt . P.S. Are those JNCOs, bro? Sick.
A shirt so goddamn heinous even a wild animal can’t bare to look.
I hope their love for each other is as deep as that fucking V neck. Button it up, Biebs. If not for you, for us.
STOLEN VALOR! Just keep it, Jeremy. Keep the valor. It’s yours.
The only time I’ve ever not been excited to find Waldo.
You know how I know Poppa Biebs has a big hog….
The guitar works a helluva lot better when it’s plugged in. P.S. You want some of this milk sideburns?
Before you head out for your appearance in a P. Diddy music video, you may want to pick up your skivvies off the floor. Savage.
This picture was taken within 500 feet of a middle school. Probation violated. Again.
It looks like a piece of Jeremy’s eyebrow tried to run away from his face and died right below his lower lip. Also, no need to pull out your ID before ordering alcohol, we’re well aware you’re 40.
Oh, this is Colin Farrell from Horrible Bosses? Same difference.