Adam Sandler’s Hilarious New Version Of The ‘Hanukkah Song’ Drops Bombs On Subway Jared

When I heard the original Adam Sandler ‘Chanukah Song’ in high school, it made me want to be Jewish. Like I would have even wore that little hat thingy on the crown of my head–Clipped that thing on with a pink hair clip like a mother fucking badge of courage. May have even considered listening to Matisyahu.

And then I heard that instead of a Christmas tree, you get a McDonald’s Happy Meal spinny top thingy and you only get one present a day for eight drawn-out days and I was like ‘fuck that I guess I’ll buy into this fatass forcing himself down my chimney without a warrant’ thing. If I’m waiting 24 hours in between gifts, each one better be X-Box-calibur. Realest talk.

But I digre$$.

That song. That song was a straight flame-thrower—old-school Sandler comedy and timing with that beat that brings us back some years. It was written by Adam Sandler and SNL writers Lewis Morton and Ian Maxtone-Graham and was debuted by Sandler on SNL’s Weekend Update on December 3, 1994. Since then, Sandler has changed the lyrics with the times a total of four times–the latest at Judd Apatow’s standup special at Carnegie Hall, where Sandler was the surprised guest. Sandler’s latest version is downright hilarious–calling attention to Shia LaBeouf, Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Drake, and yes, Subway Jared. Fuck that guy. Honestly.

I’m having flashbacks of listening to this song while smoking doobies with Tony DeLucia and driving through the Wendy’s drive-thru backwards. Shit I miss that guy. Gotta give him a call.

[h/t Death and Taxes Magazine]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.