Amy Schumer made her hosting debut on SNL this week, and on her monologue the comedian discussed if it’s an “exciting time for women in Hollywood,” washing a baby’s vagina, meeting Hillary Clinton, dating Bradley Cooper and smashing the Kardashians, which I’m sure will delight you all.
Amy pondered the female role models for girls, and how unfortunately young women will often idolize the Kardashians. “Is that a great message for girls that the whole family of women who take the faces they were born with as just a light suggestion?”
She talked about meeting Hillary Clinton and her important question was, “Do you drink?” She responded that she does vodka, beer and wine. Amy asked if she drinks tequila, but the former Secretary of State said she only drinks tequila if someone makes her. Schumer then cracked, “Who’s hazing Hillary Clinton?”
Amy described the uncomfortableness of washing her 18-month-old baby niece. Using Jessica Alba’s soap she washed the baby’s butthole, but “didn’t go nuts.” I washed it like as if I’m washing my own butthole, but knew I’m not hooking up with anyone.” “And then her vagina, I did like a Tinder swipe.”
Schumer then told the story of meeting Bradley Cooper, and how he is so hot that when he’s in front of you you’ll just grab your ankles or say things like “Any hole is fine.” They talked for so long, she changed her Facebook status to “engaged” to the Hollywood star.
If Schumer was nervous for her first time hosting gig of SNL, her good friend Kevin Hart gave her some advice. Hart, who has hosted Saturday Night Live twice sent Amy the following text message.
Hostile text @KevinHart4real #snl pic.twitter.com/DUrAbmwWju
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) October 10, 2015
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Hey click bait Kevin's text was funny. He was messing with me. We are friends. Booooo pic.twitter.com/nM8s1ks75N
— Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) October 10, 2015
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See Amy Schumer mock gun enthusiasts on SNL here.