Respect My Authoritah: Ranking The 50 Best ‘South Park’ Episodes Of All Time

By 09.14.16
Best South Park Episodes Ever

Comedy Central


South Park is fast becoming a TV institution on par with legendary shows like The Simpsons, and, uh… The Simpsons. Seriously, that’s about it. It’s reached that rarefied air previously reserved for the nation’s true first family.

So since it’s still going strong now as it closes in on the end of its 18th season (yeah, it’s been that long) we thought now would be a good time to take a moment to celebrate such an achievement by bringing you this, the 50 best South Park episodes of them all.

South Park Raisins

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50. ‘Raisins’, Season 7, Episode 14

Butters falls in love with a young waitress, and learns that age old lesson: never fall in love with someone who works for tips. And we all learn that in South Park, Colorado, apparently zoning laws are totally cool with approving Hooters like restaurants for 9 year-olds.

49. ‘Gnomes’, 2.17

1. Collect Underpants
2. ???
3. Profit
That’s all I really need to say here.

48. ‘Goobacks’, 8.7

“They took our jerbs!” And that’s all I really need to say here.

47. ‘Asspen’, 6.2

Stan is forced into a showdown on the ski slopes with some rich douchebag as South Park takes on 80s teen comedies in this episode and it is glorious. There’s also a subplot involving a time-share sales pitch from hell, which is probably the only thing on Earth more annoying than rich douchebag skiers.

46. ‘Butters’ Bottom Bitch’, 13.9

Butters starts a “kissing company,” which, naturally, ends up with him becoming a pimp. Let me repeat: Butters becomes a pimp.

45. ‘Chickenlover’, 2.3

A pervert is running around town molesting chickens, and the only one who can stop him is Officer Eric Cartman. Yes, this is where “Respect my authoritah!” was born and one of the first truly huge South Park memes was upon us.

44. ‘The Return of Chef’, 10.1

Lesson: never, ever – ever – piss off Matt Stone and Trey Parker. This episode is kind of uncomfortable, completely over the top, and really, really funny. It’s just a complete demolition of Isaac Hayes, who fell-out with Parker and Stone over their take on Scientology, but it’s also a sad lament of a friendship gone awry. There’s a heart beating somewhere inside a dead man shitting himself.

43. ‘Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo’, 1.9

It’s a Christmas episode about a talking piece of shit. Just read that again. It was so weird and so funny, and no one had ever seen anything like it before. This might have been the episode which raised the bar for the entire series.

42. ‘You’re Getting Old’, 15.7

Stan turns 10 and blah, blah, blah… really, it’s all about his dad, Randy, AKA the show’s nuclear bomb of characters, who gets into tween music and hilarity ensues. It was also a clever take on the show itself getting up there and running into the challenges that come with having done it all a million times before, but, again, everything pales next to the magnificence that is Randy Marsh.

41. ‘Fat Butt and Pancake Head’, 7.5

Cartman performs a ventriloquist act in which his hand doubles as Jennifer Lopez. Naturally, he gets carried away, “Miss Lopez” takes on a mind of her own, and long story short, Cartman ends up getting molested by Ben Affleck. South Park, everybody.


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