We’ll call this the second part of a three part series, the first of which you can find here and the last of which I’ll post next week. This was going to be a list based on just the past decade, but then I realized YouTube has only been around since 2005, so… yeah. It’s now an all-time list.
#1. Lazy Sunday
The hit that started it all. I debated whether or not to put this on here, since it originally aired on Saturday Night Live, a TV show. But then I remembered: one, no one watched SNL in 2005, which led to two, that means this video definitely went viral. Now, you can argue which of Sandberg’s videos is the best—”Dick in a Box,” “Jizz in My Pants,” “I Just Had Sex”—but you can’t debate that this one did it first. After this video came out, you knew to keep a lookout for Lonely Island videos. Gotta love that chronic—what?—cles of Narnia.
#2. Craig Ferguson
Anyone watch The Late Late Show? No? Me neither. So I had to learn all about Craig Ferguson and how to emulate his dastardly deeds the next day, online. See, Ferguson makes women melt. They talk to him, hear his accent, and promptly become puddles—he’s a bro of the highest order. Look him up on YouTube—he has thirteen (13!) videos devoted to him wooing female guests. Tough call, but the one above is my favorite because Kate Mara.
#3. My New Haircut
“Hey Brosky, two Heinekens.” The dude might as well have trademarked “bro,” because he pretty much invented it. He’s “the fuckin’ man,” and he needs some “goddamn protein, Ma.” What did bros start drinking at bars nonstop after this came out? “Jager bombs. Fuckin’ shower in that shit.”
#4. Zombie Kid Likes Turtles
Little Jonathan doesn’t care what your questions are—he like turtles, damn it. He’s a bro through and through, because he says what he wants, when he wants. “What do you think of your face paint job, Jonathan?” “I like turtles.” You tell her, bro.
#5. Unforgivable #1
“I want a chicken sandwich with some waffle fries—fo’ free!” This video’s very nearly creepy, except for the fact that the dude can’t keep a straight face. It’s so ridiculous, he can’t keep a straight face.
#6. Charlie bit my finger
“Ouch, Charlie!” See, it’s the older brother talking the whole time—since, you know, he’s the only one that has the faculties to actually speak—but Charlie’s the real star. He hears your squeals of pain and just laughs. What a badass. He’s a bro, and he’s an actual brother. I rest my case.
#7. Auto-Tune the News
It’s a whole series, so there’s not just one video to point to, but that’s a testament to how great this bro is. Oh, T-Pain, you’re gonna auto-tune your songs and ruin music? Well, this bro will do the same damn thing to the news. Boom.
#8. Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama
Who’s the bro in this video? Why, the leprechaun of course. He must be real. Someone had to provoke all these Alabama residents to lose their fucking minds, after all. Extra points for this being real life, non-fiction, crazy ass shit.
#9. Daft Hands – Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
What’s so bro about a dude dancing with his hands? Riddle me this, reader: How many times does he flick off the camera? Yep, people have watched a video over 59 million times of a bro essentially flipping off the camera to music. #Winning.
#10. Where the Hell is Matt?
That’s tough to say. Pick a year. I picked 2006. Notice the kangaroos in Australia at 51 seconds flea when he starts dancing, just like women on a dance floor. His clear message? If you can’t handle the heat, get outta the kitchen. Bro fo’ sho’. Additional props to Matt for getting Visa and Stride to pay for him to travel, even if it was to made up places like Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei.
Honorable Mention: Man, so many people to thank. God. My mom. And of course Harry Potter Puppet Pals, the Flea Market dude, That Guy Who Wore the Most Shirts at One Time, and Old Gregg. You guys were great, too.
We couldn’t not include this. — Editor