Brilliant Bill Burr Blasted The ‘Brave’ Self-Congratulating Acceptance Speeches At The Circle Jerk Emmy’s

By 09.22.16

Apparently, the Emmy’s were this weekend, but I missed it because I was quite busy getting my taint hairs clipped and was watching this video. Luckily for the rest of us, the great Bill Burr did not miss the Emmy’s and he has some killer commentary on the award show that is just a well-produced circle jerk for actors.

“Jeez, my wife was watching that thing last night and what a fucking shit show,” Burr says.

Actress Sarah Paulson won her first Emmy, for outstanding lead actress in a limited series or movie, for her performance in The People v. O. J. Simpson: American Crime Story. During her acceptance blabber she said, “It was because you thought I could that I even dared.”

Eww. It wasn’t the paycheck that dared you to act in a hit show? The passion for your craft? A kick-ass script? It was because someone believed in her? Sarah Paulson is a 41-year-old actress with 56 credits under her name, she’s not some 5-year-old learning to tie their shoelaces that needs positive reinforcement.

“I almost fucking threw up after whoever the hell said that,” Burr said of the speech. “You’re a fucking actor.”

“That was one of the worst things I’ve ever heard,” Burr said on his Monday Morning podcast.

Burr gave some valuable advice to actors who win an award, “Just take your shiny thing and leave.”

Billy boy also astutely pointed out that the Emmy’s seemed to coincidently seat all of the minority actors and actresses in the front three rows and the rest of the rows were entirely white people. Coincidence or scared that they didn’t want to seem inclusive and take the flak that the Oscars received this year?

“The 15 black people that were there they had them all up in front.”

“It was such a brave performance,” Burr mocked. The comedian commended the brave people that climb up a tower or skyscraper to change a lightbulb so that airplanes can see the structure. “If putting on 20-pounds and wearing a wig is brave, what is that?”

If you missed the Emmy’s don’t fret because I put together this highlight reel of all the wonderful and self-congratulatory speeches.

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