If you’ve been wondering what former late night hero David Letterman thinks of our new President Donald Trump and those in his administration you need wonder no more.
We already heard from Dave back in October before Trump got elected and Letterman pulled no punches in his criticisms of The Donald, a man he knew rather well during his run on The Late Show.
Now, however, thanks to a VERY long interview Letterman did with New York Magazine this week, we get to see what he thinks of the current goings-on in Washington. As usual, Dave doesn’t give a flying fuck and let’s it all hang out.
Here are some excerpts on how Dave feels about the Trump administration…
On Trump…
“I always regarded him as, if you’re going to have New York City, you gotta have a Donald Trump. He was a joke of a wealthy guy. We didn’t take him seriously. He’d sit down, and I would just start making fun of him. He never had any retort. He was big and doughy, and you could beat him up. He seemed to have a good time, and the audience loved it, and that was Donald Trump. Beyond that, I remember a friend in the PR business told me that he knew for a fact — this was three or four presidential campaigns ago — that Donald Trump would never run for president; he was just monkeying around for the publicity. So I assumed that was the story and now it turns out he’s the president.”
And Trump’s reaction to the SNL parodies of him…
“The man has such thin skin that if you keep pressure on him — I remember there was a baseball game in Cleveland, and a swarm of flies came on the field and the batters were doing this [mimes swatting at flies] while the pitcher was throwing 100 miles an hour. Well, that’s Alec Baldwin and Saturday Night Live. It’s distracting the batter. Eventually Trump’s going to take a fastball off the sternum and have to leave the game.”
CBS
On Mike Pence…
“He only got elected [to governor of Indiana] because he looks like Bobby Knight. Jeez, Pence scared the hell out of me.”
“Yes, conversion therapy. That’s when I just thought, Oh God, really, Indiana? I don’t care if you’re a fundamentalist Christian — even they have gay relatives. They can’t be saying homosexuality is a sin. It’s horseshit. Then In February, the Trump administration reversed the Obama administration’s directive that directed schools to allow transgender students to use the bathrooms that correspond to their gender identity. this transgender issue that just happened, I just think, Are you kidding me? Look, you’re a human, I’m a human. We’re breathing the same air. We have the same problems. We’re trying to get through our day. Who the fuck are you to throw a log in the road of somebody who has a different set of difficulties in life?”
On Sean Spicer…
“Poor Sean Spicer is a boob who just got out of a cab and now here he is.”
On Kellyanne Conway…
“Kellyanne Conway was my favorite for a long time. This thing about her telling everyone, “Go buy Ivanka’s shoes; I’m going to go buy Ivanka’s shoes. Hell, I’ll buy you a pair of Ivanka’s shoes.” Then they had to counsel her. Boy, if this administration decides you need counseling — whoa.”
On Steve Bannon…
“He hires the Hunchback of Notre Dame, Steve Bannon, to be his little buddy. Bannon looks like a guy who goes to lunch, gets drunk, and comes back to the office: ‘Steve, could you have just one drink?’ ‘Fuck you.’ How is a white supremacist the chief adviser to our president?”
On Stephen Miller…
“Then the other kid, is it Miller? [Stephen Miller.] Wow, that guy is creepy. He fell out of a truck.”
As for what Letterman would be doing if he were still hosting his show?
“If I still had a show, people would have to come and take me off the stage. ‘Dave, that’s enough about Trump. We’ve run out of tape.’ It’s all I’d be talking about. I’d be exhausted.”
And it goes on and on because, as Letterman put it, “I’m lonely, I can’t stop talking…This is like visitors’ day at prison for me.”
Check out the rest of the entertaining and interesting interview over at New York Magazine.