Here’s The Story Of Why You Should NEVER Call Matthew McConaughey ‘Matt’

Matthew, Matt, Matty, M-Train, Hepatitis-M…There are many varietals of the name Matthew, but when it comes to Matthew McConaughey you’re ONLY allowed to use his full, biblical name.

Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, Matthew McConaughey regaled the audience with a schoolyard story of the time one of his friends called him ‘Matt’ in front of his mother. Mom made it clear right then and there that he was never supposed to go by the name Matt, and his biblical name of Matthew is the ONLY acceptable form of his name.

What weirded me out the most about this story wasn’t the fact that Matthew McConaughey’s mom is so insistent on him being called ‘Matthew’ as it is in the bible, but the fact that his mom was present in the schoolyard playground. There wasn’t a single parent on the playground at my elementary school at any goddamn point and I think it’s really weird that Matthew went to a school where parents were just mulling around during play time.

Matthew also discussed how great it was to gain weight for his new film Gold, and after a string of films causing him to lose a shit ton of weight this truly must’ve been an incredible experience: