Who Were The Chillest Bros On Last Night’s ‘Game Of Thrones?’

by 2 years ago

Back in September of 2003, the Atlanta-based hip hop duo Outkast released their first double album, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, to critical acclaim. In it, Andre 3000 asked, on the chart-topping hit Hey Ya, “What’s cooler than being cool?”

I’ll tell ya what’s cooler than being cool. Being chill. Alright?

We love being chill here at BroBible and that’s why, every week, we take a look at who was chill on the most unchill show in all the Laniakea Supercluster, Game of Thrones.

First up, the non-chill Bros, from Episode Four: Book of the Stranger

Daenerys Targaryen

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HBO


This was a hate crime. Against Bros.

Chill Bro Points: -10,000

Loras Tyrell

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HBO


Who would have thought The Knight of the Flowers wouldn’t be able to handle a little time in a prison cell? Not me, that’s for darn sure.

Chill Bro Points: -500

Melisandre

melisandre

HBO


You raised this dude from the dead. Let me repeat that. YOU RAISED THIS DUDE FROM THE DEAD. And now you’re kinda like, eh, I guess he’s the prince or something, whatever.

Show some damn enthusiasm for your life’s work.

Chill Bro Points: -500

The High Sparrow

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HBO


Like, literally, no one gives a shit what you did in your past life. Not even your fucking parents give a shit. I made shoes. Wah wah wah. Fuck out of here, dude.

Chill Bro Points: -100

Now, the chill Bros.

5. Tormund Giantsbane

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HBO


While Tormund Goes To Poundtown is probably not a pornography I would add to my every day rotation, I endorse his right to make it.

Chill Bro Points: 100

4. Cersei Lannister

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HBO


A lot of times a Bro shows up with a plan of action for the day and you’re like, dude, chill the fuck out. I’m just trying to chill here. But then, some other times, a Bro comes armed with a plan and you’re like word, yes, let’s do this.

This was the latter.

Chill Bro Points:: 200

3. Brienne of Tarth

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HBO


Pretty chill of her not to shoot those two messengers, especially in this case, because those two were messengers of death.

Chill Bro Points: 250

2. This Gyrfalcon

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HBO


Falcons are fucking cool.

Chill Bro Points: 400

1. Daario Naharis

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HBO


It was very progressive of him not to overreact when Jorah Mormont disclosed to him that he was Greyscale positive.

Also, knives are sweet.

Chill Bro Points: 1,000

Do you feel differently? Get to the comments. Here are standings after four episodes.

30. Daenerys Targaryen: -10,000

29. Jamie Lannister: -2,100

28. The Three Eyed Raven: -1,000

27. Yara Greyjoy: -1,000

T-25. Lord Varys: -500

T-25. Melisandre -500

24. Loras Tyrell: -500

23. Ser Davos Seaworth: -250

22. Those Two Idiot Dothraki Bros: : -200

21. The High Septon: -150.

T-19. Tyrion Lannister: -50

T-19. The Bernie Sanders Mother Fucker From Episode One: -50

18. Daario Naharis and Jorah Mormont’s Horses: 50

17. Cersei Lannister : 100

16. The Waif: 175

15. Roose Bolton: 200

T-12. Wun Wer Wun Dar Wun: 250

T-12. Olenna Tyrell: 250

T-12. Brienne of Tarth: 250

11. Arya Stark: 300

10. Ser Robert Strong: 350

9. Theon Greyjoy: 400

8. Robyn Arryn’s Gyrfalcon: 400

T-5. Rhaegal and Viserion: 500

T-5. Ser Arthur Dayne: 500

T-5. Jon Snow 500

4. Ser Alliser Thorne: 750

3. Daario Naharis: 1,000

2. Tormund Giantsbane: 1,600

1. Ellaria Sand: 2,000


TAGSGame of Thronesgame of thrones chill bro rankings

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