Hey man, you wanna see some pictures of some shit dicks? Get a fucking load of these shit dicks.
That’s Miles Teller. Oh man, what a shit dick he is.
That’s Dave Franco. Calling a Franco a shit dick is as redundant and dumb as asking for a side of fries with your steak frites.
That’s Bargels Fegbort, who’s so shitty dicky I feel like the government should invent a Department Of Shit Dicks just to create the legal justification to deport him to wherever he’s from. Denmark, probably.
What do these shit dicks, along with other shit dicks who are so worthless I can’t even bother to Google their names and tell you what they were in or what they look like (Jack Reynor, Scott Eastwood, Logan Lerman, Emory Cohen and Blake Jenner sound more like the male and female cast leads for an O.C. reboot than actual real people), have in common?
They’re all on Disney’s short list to play a young Han Solo in the upcoming Han Solo prequel to the original Star Wars movies.
That movie will start filming next January, but Disney is anxious to cast the role because it’s possible he could have a cameo in Rogue One, which takes place between Episodes III and IV. (This would especially be cool, because it could play into the whole “Chewie is a rebel spy” theory).
But will you wanna go see that and the prequel if one of the most iconic roles of cinema is handed off to one of these shit dicks?
I’ll be honest.
I still will want to go see it.
Fucking shit dicks, man.
[Via Variety, Images via Shutterstock]