Here’s Everything You Need To Know About The New Jason Bourne Movie


Matt Damon has finally reprised his most kick-ass role after a nine-year absence in which Jeremy Renner, God bless his heart, stepped in for The Bourne Legacy in 2012. Sadly, Renner won’t be appearing in this episode, which if I’m being honest with myself and with you guys, is kinda of Brazilian bum-bummer. This go ’round Damon, as Jason Bourne, knows who he is, but as Julia Stiles’ character, Nicky, points out that don’t mean he knows everything.

In this installment, Bourne’s up against “Iron Hand”, the super assassin program that’s trying to fill in the gaps left by Treadstone.

Alicia Vikander, who was ON FIRE in The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (which was a mediocre film that was carried by the attractiveness of its cast), but is probably better known for her breakthrough role in Ex Machina, has joined the cast in an unknown role. My guess? She’s a super assassin who Bourne somehow debriefs / un-brainwashes and they totally do it after engaging in some hot and heavy hand-to-hand combat. Judging by this animated gif of Vikander in Tulip Fever, maybe I should give that a gander.

Tommy Lee Jones is also part of the cast as CIA Director Robert Dewey. If there’s not a scene in which TLJ is chasing Bourne down a giant sewage pipe that ends with Bourne jumping off an impossible-to-survive height into the rushing waters below, then color me unimpressed.

P to the S – I know this isn’t news but it’s crayon how John Cena looks like a jacked Matt Damon. Makes me question why Amy Schumer gave Cena the line “I look like Mark Wahlberg ate Mark Wahlberg” in the movie theater scene when Damon would’ve been a grand slam at Denny’s.

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