I Don’t Know What’s Worse — Lena Dunham’s Latest Publicity Stunt Or Russia Nuking Us Right Now

By 01.11.17
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I just don’t have it in me to write a bunch of bullshit about Lena Dunham today. She sucks. Everyone knows she sucks. She’s everything wrong with liberalism and celebrity culture and millennial self-entitlement. Have you ever watched the show Girls? Fuck that show. After going through a dumb phase where I was ironically intrigued by it, I lost a little bit of respect for Judd Apatow for being involved in bringing a televised turd nugget of insufferable douchebag characters to life.

Even Marnie, the hot one who likes rim jobs. Fuck her.

I know it makes more sense to just avoid Lena Dunham all together. I really do. I know it’s cool and edgy to hate on her. I know she wants attention from the celebrity industrial “HEY LOOK AT ME!!!!!” vacuum that Tomi Lahren (and everyone else in America) hates so much. But I can’t avoid voicing my opinion about her overall insufferably as a media consumer. And the stupid media industrial complex is rewarded by publishing her every damn insufferable word and thought, like how she’s had her period for 13 straight days and even dumber shit that comes out of her mouth.

Thank God for the democratization of media. Thank God for the last season of Girls.

So here’s today’s Lena Dunham *thing in the news* (Thanks, Nylon Magazine) that will make you realize once again How. Much. She. Sucks.

Actually, I’ll save you a click: She’s 30 now and says all the same trite, sad shit everyone says when they turn 30, my pathetic yuppie hipster ass included:

She admits, though, that there are gaps in her self-knowledge: “I’m realizing more and more as I get older that I’m actually way less self-aware than I thought,” she says, noting that she countered the first pings of public critique with shielding thoughts like, “‘Oh, I’ve been in therapy since I was seven. There’s nothing you could say about me that other people wouldn’t know.’ But the older I get, the more I’m like, ‘I don’t fucking know what anybody is seeing when they look at me,’ and the coolest thing is it’s not my problem.” Her hazel eyes open wide. “That’s an interesting thing. It kind of doesn’t matter. I used to think the worst thing in the world could be for someone to have a thought about you that you didn’t have yourself. Now I’m like, ‘Have at it, guys!’”

Oh. My. God. *EYE ROLL* — This literally sounds like the dumb self-absorbed shit everyone over 30 talks about on their dumb Tinder dates with their fellow dumb over-30-year-olds. Lena Dunham would be a lot more interesting if she talked about her opinions on The Space Monkeys or the Coachella line-up or Taco Bell’s latest food menu marketing stunt. But instead,  she just talks about herself. Over and over and over again.

It’s exhausting to hear someone talk about themselves in the public as much as Lena Dunahm talks about Lena Dunahm.

Go read it or whatever over at Nylon. Or not. I don’t care. I just wanted to vent.

Oh and if you’re reading this Putin, the headline’s just hyperbole. I very much so would enjoy to stick around to see the 76ers beat up on the Knicks tonight.  


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