Lindsay Lohan Lost a Laptop Full of Nude Pictures (Call Us If You Have It )
So we can rightfully return the missing property to its owner and not have our IT guy HACK his way into the machine.
Not that we would ever do a thing like that. We don't even have an IT guy and my knowledge of hacking consists solely of having watched Swordfish like 100 times. Hugh Jackman, man. Dude could hack. But back to Naked-Lohan-Gate-pocalypse-2K14. Per TMZ:
Lindsay claims her computer was stolen at the airport in Shanghai, China, and she's offering a reward for its return. In a move showing an utter lack of sophistication, Lindsay isn't specifying how much she'll give … she's saying, “Whatever it takes.” Translation: A lot.
And why is Lindsay Lohan offering us peons of the world whatever we'd like (The King's jewels! Parcels of land! Food!) in exchange for her computer?
[TMZ's] learned she had a bunch of nude photos of herself [on her laptop]. She claims they're all from various photo shoots that were never supposed to be released.
But are about to be, anyway. If you can't wait that long (three days is my guess) just Google “Lindsay Lohan naked.” Lord knows there's already enough photos out there for you to get off.