Honey Boo Boo’s Mom Will Appear At The Crazy Horse Strip Club This Weekend Because Nothing Is Sacred

Taking a page out of ye olde Farrah Abraham playbook, Mama June who is famous for being a reality TV star and Honey Boo Boo’s mother will appear at the Crazy Horse Gentleman’s Club in Pompano Beach, Florida this weekend for a meet and greet. Mama June will be paid $5,500 for her appearance at the South Florida strip club, the same strip club where former MTV ‘Teen Mom’ and current D-List Porn Star Farrah Abraham made an appearance back in March. It seems the Crazy Horse Gentleman’s Club has a knack for bringing unwanted reality TV stars.

‘To each his own’ and all that, but I’ll be honest with you and say that I’m 99.99999% sure I don’t know a single man alive who would want to see Mama June on the stripper pole. I’m also pretty certain that all of you bros reading this don’t know a man alive who’d want to see Mama June waxing the pole. So why? Why are they bringing her in to the Crazy Horse on a Saturday Night?! At least with Farrah Abraham she’s hot, and she was there for the club’s grand opening. This just seems weird on all fronts.

Here’s her announcement, if you’re pondering making an appearance to see Mama June at the Crazy Horse:

But for those of you bros who live in South Florida and are thinking of making the trip to the Crazy Horse Gentleman’s Club for Mama June’s appearance, here’s a little bit of what you can expect. WARNING: These are NOT easy GIFs to watch.

…….still think this PR stunt is a good idea, Crazy Horse? Bros, you still thinking of hitting up the Crazy Horse this weekend? Or is your plan now to cloister yourself in seclusion for the rest of your lifetime?

There are no exact numbers for how much Honey Boo Boo’s mother Mama June weighs, estimates are somewhere between 265 to 365 pounds, but those estimates are a few years old. Even googling her weight is quite the task, as the people who are constantly using Google Search to find out how much Mama June weighs cannot spell, so the auto-fill results pull up these options:

And it’s not the fact that she’s a big woman that makes this all so strange. Bros love big women. Big women are awesome, just like skinny women are awesome. ‘Love everyone’ is my motto. She’s just so over-the-top with everything she does, it’s just not right. She’s also made a career out of pushing her kid through beauty pageants, and that’s just not right. Just look at those Google auto-fill suggestions above and you can get a sense of the sort of aura surrounding this woman.

But according to the Broward-Palm Beach New Times Mama June is coming off a recent “40-plus-pound weight loss” that she’ll be flaunting all over the Crazy Horse come this Saturday.

More from the New Times:

Mama June will apparently be keeping her clothes on and will be making $5,500 for her meet and greet, according to TMZ. She is not the first reality television mother to walk through the doors of the Crazy Horse, though. MTV Teen Mom turned amateur porn star Farrah Abraham made an appearance at the club back in March to celebrate its grand opening.

For those blissfully uninitiated, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was a reality series that followed a family of Mountain Dew-fueled, self-described rednecks. The show centered on the jittery but undeniably charming Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, Mama June’s 6-year-old daughter. The families buttercentric diet and all-around lack of chivalry quickly garnered the show a good deal of controversy. Not to mention the fact that the success of the program was built around the behavior of a 6-year-old who, if not televised for entertainment purposes, should have been evaluated by a physician or two.

Mama June, who recently announced she is bisexual, will be flaunting her 40-plus-pound weight loss this Saturday at the Crazy Horse in Pompano, located at 1820 NW 21st St. So make sure you get down to Pompano this Saturday!

Remind me again why I defend Florida? Just because I was born and raised there doesn’t mean I need to keep defending the Sunshine State, right? RIGHT?!?!?!?