Bear, you dirty fucking dog you. Can’t say that I’m entirely surprised that the dude who ate elephant shit and ripped the guts out of a camel and climbed inside likes to be pissed on by a hot chick. If he had Lena Dunham out there with him, he surely would have resorted to Plan B: amputation. But you get the hottest Spice Girl out there in the wilderness and you’re just looking for an excuse to get golden showered. If you don’t think the dude who summited Everest and crossed the North Atlantic Ocean in an inflatable raft didn’t know that if he picked up a jellyfish, he’d get stung, you’re delusional. I know that and I can’t even crack the shell of a lobster. And the whole “I’m out of pee!” charade was more transparent than Carrot Top in February. I bet in the deleted scenes, Bear convinces Mel to take a dump in his hands so he can use it as war paint. Wave that freak flag, Bear. Wave it loud and proud.
At 41, Mel B hasn’t lost a step.