Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more.
Strap in. It could get bumpy. These are the most entertaining celebrity tweets this week.
I may have lost Miss Universe again but it was such an honor to compete w/ all those classy ladies from all those weird foreign countries.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 26, 2015
You gave it a good shot, Jim.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/559571534935638016
The more you know.
Don't worry people. I'm already testing the PSI of Team Irvin's footballs.
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) January 26, 2015
Thank God he said “footballs.”
How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 26, 2015
TRUTH.
Word is that Jeb Bush is working on a 2016 campaign slogan. So far the frontrunner is: “Vote Bush – Because it’s Been the Required 8 Years.”
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) January 26, 2015
Also accurate.
https://twitter.com/amyschumer/status/559670749968224257
She has a point.
I remember many occasions when the snow was drifted above our Kansas windows..back when snow symbolized sledding, not the apocalypse
— Kirstie Alley (@kirstiealley) January 26, 2015
See Jim Gaffigan’s earlier tweet.
https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/559727781492191232
Chrissy is always the voice of reason.
BREAKING NEWS: Greatest blizzard of snow tweets/photos in New York history.
— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 26, 2015
No shit, Piers.
How do you tell a Snow Man from a Snow Woman? Snow Balls. I apologize to all Snow People. RT Immediately! #blizzardof2015
— Gilbert Gottfried (@RealGilbert) January 26, 2015
Stop shaking your head.
Been hearing that groceries running out of food because of advance storm shopping. Wonder if drug stores running out of condoms?
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) January 26, 2015
Leave it to Dr. Ruth to take it there.
https://twitter.com/JohnStamos/status/559762186101223425
You didn’t follow your own advice, John.
Life's like a fine wine. I sniff it. I swirl it. I take a small sip and then drink deeply, pretending 2 enjoy it because people are looking.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) January 26, 2015
That’s pretty deep.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/559774181785894912
Seriously, when are we going to catch a break?
Did someone finally kill Facebook?
— marc maron (@marcmaron) January 27, 2015
Just a self-inflicted flesh wound.
https://twitter.com/zachbraff/status/559982766847037440
I always wonder that.
I dont care if we didnt get much snow. today im going to drink the 10 gallons of water & eat the 20 cans of baked beans I bought yesterday
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) January 27, 2015
As one should.
Media day: the result of daddies not hugging their babies.
— Michelle Beadle (@MichelleDBeadle) January 27, 2015
Wonder if she has anyone particular in mind?
I respond to text messages in my head. Sometimes weeks go by before I realize I didn't respond in real life. I'm working on that.
— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) January 27, 2015
I know people like her.
Sports Illustrated laid off all its photographers. Good luck finding someone willing to take pictures of hot swimsuits models for free.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) January 28, 2015
Yeah, they’re so screwed.
https://twitter.com/OfficialKat/status/560350363627585536
Seems like a pretty harsh stance, but okay.
Okay… So is "50 Shades of Gray" a horror movie?
— Heidi Montag (@heidimontag) January 28, 2015
For men who have to go see it? Yes.
https://twitter.com/JamesDeen/status/560492971330895872
Solid advice.
Just found out that Chinese Fire Drills didn’t actually originate in the People’s Republic of China. Has EVERYTHING BEEN A LIE??
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) January 28, 2015
Yes.
I wouldn't say this Arizona Super Bowl is spread out, but I think I just saw Heisenberg.
— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) January 29, 2015
There it is, finally a Super Bowl in the Southwest Heisenberg joke.
I think sitting on an airplane is the most exhausting type of sitting.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 29, 2015
He ain’t lying.
https://twitter.com/michaelianblack/status/560827785753952257
Sounds like a plan.
Steelers fans use more profane language on social media than fans of any other NFL team, according to data analyzed by Proofpoint Nexgate
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) January 29, 2015
I am so disappointed in you, Oakland.
Suge Knight seems nice.
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 30, 2015
No comment.
https://twitter.com/the_ironsheik/status/560237722603122688
Have a great weekend, everybody!