Every week celebrities go on Twitter and speak their minds. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re thought-provoking, and sometimes we don’t know what they’re talking about. This list is all of that and more.
Strap in. It could get bumpy. These are the most entertaining celebrity tweets this week.
Do the new Lincolns not have AC or is Matthew just sweating that much becuz he's excited to be him. #grammyads
— Kathleen Madigan (@kathleenmadigan) February 9, 2015
No AC.
https://twitter.com/therealroseanne/status/564683782532251648
Because six awards shows per year for them isn’t enough.
I think Kanye meant to say "I get flustered around Beck because if you've heard my music, he's SO OBVIOUSLY ONE OF MY BIGGEST INFLUENCES."
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 9, 2015
Definitely.
Give a man a fish and he'll ask you why the fuck you're going round trying to give fish away. It's weird. Don't do it.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) February 9, 2015
Religious reference, move to the next one if you don’t get it.
I hope Stephen Hawking wins a science award just so @kanyewest can tip him out of his wheelchair.#BoringCoward, #PickTougherTargets
— Jim Norton (@JimNorton) February 9, 2015
Don’t underestimate Kanye’s narcissism.
"Regardless of how the media is spinning things, Obama is once again on the wrong side of an issue: Kanye is not a jackass" – Republicans
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 9, 2015
Sounds about right.
https://twitter.com/danieltosh/status/564847919971307521
After that you’re locked in for Valentine’s Day.
When we were kids, it didn't matter who our friends were. It was whoever could come out and play. Now it's so convoluted.
— Bree Olson (@BreeOlson) February 10, 2015
Yeah, what happened?
Lost my phone for 40 minutes. Finally found it in fridge. Wtf?
— David Spade (@DavidSpade) February 10, 2015
Welcome to the club, David.
Ignorance is not bliss, y'all. It's just f+%king ignorant.
— Sophia Bush (@SophiaBush) February 10, 2015
True dat.
Kanye West just ran up, grabbed my “World’s Greatest Dad” mug, and gave it to a more deserving recipient.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 10, 2015
I think he’s joking, but not sure.
Heard 50 Shades will inspire "an important conversation btw couples" Here's how I imagine that goes:
"You want to do some butt stuff?"
"No."— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 10, 2015
Nailed it.
I trust children about as far as I can throw them. (I trust children)
— Pete Holmes (@peteholmes) February 10, 2015
They are very aerodynamic.
For the right price I will act out your Yelp reviews.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 10, 2015
Let’s get a pool going and make this happen.
Almost every day, I click on a trending name to make sure that person didn't die.
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) February 10, 2015
Sadly, it didn’t work this week with Tark the Shark.
The girl who posted pics of Edelman is a major rat fink!!
— Jamie Kennedy (@JamieKennedy) February 10, 2015
Welcome to the party, Jamie.
Jumbotron here at the Staples Center catches Denzel Washington paying for a drink…by rolling bills off a wad of $100's
— Rachel Nichols (@Rachel__Nichols) February 11, 2015
Denzel, such a badass.
https://twitter.com/mindykaling/status/565409626091700225
Definitely something worth shooting for.
Guys, just know that if I am away from Twitter for a while, I'm living what's called a regular life w/ a wife & children & a job
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) February 11, 2015
Huh? I don’t get it.
I'm in Hollywood at 1206 am and I'm HUMPING and HUMPING!!! Baby Jesus!
— Rowdy Roddy Piper (@R_Roddy_Piper) February 11, 2015
Rowdy Roddy isn’t all there.
https://twitter.com/jaymohr37/status/565524323838857217
It is Valentine’s week after all.
"You should call Jon Stewart and tell him you'd like a tryout." — a lot of comedians' good-hearted grandmas, this morning
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) February 11, 2015
He ain’t lying.
“@ScumbagFaZzyy: @miakhalifa If I ever meet you irl can I grab your ass?” Come near me and I will sue you to infinity and beyond.
— Mia K. (@miakhalifa) February 11, 2015
So I guess that’s a no.
Laundromats are a good place to meet a potential partner because a load of wash doesn't make very good company.
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) February 11, 2015
Dr. Ruth just droppin’ knowledge all over the place.
Watching a new TV show always feels like a date. “I’m not looking to start anything serious but I’m free tonight.”
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 12, 2015
Nailed it.
Any shelters in Chicago have hairless cats? I need a dozen.
— player/coach (@CMPunk) February 12, 2015
I don’t even want to know.
50 Shades looks good, except for the sex parts and the dialogue.
— (((Jew))) (@JoshMalina) February 12, 2015
Definitely seeing it now.
My dads dental hygienist was a huge Dwight fan, now a huge Backstrom fan. Had no idea I was both characters. Idiot.
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 12, 2015
People, amirite?
Saw the “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie. It’s 90 minutes of some half-naked guy searching for a tiny handcuff key.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 12, 2015
So it’s like a reality show then.
I can't wait to not see "50 Shades of Grey" this weekend!
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) February 13, 2015
You and me both, brutha.
Don't believe ridiculous, irrational superstition. Nothing bad will happen to you just because it's Friday 13th. God will make sure of that.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) February 13, 2015
Get it?
GO FUCK YOURSELF BECAUSE NOBODY GOING TO FUCK YOU ANYWAY #AdviceForYoungJournalists
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) February 10, 2015
Have a great weekend, everybody.