Bros Are Not Happy About This Weird Netflix Video That Obliterates Cargo Shorts

By 08.31.16

kevin james zookeeper

Netflix decided to upload this “web exclusive” video that’s sort of a spoof of a horror movie trailer with various characters wearing cargo shorts and other characters reacting accordingly.

So far, the video has more dislikes than likes on YouTube along with comments from bros wondering what the hell they just watched. Some thought it was a new movie starring Kevin James since that’s who’s featured in the preview image, but, nope. Just Netflix shitting all over the most functional apparel on Earth.

Brian Schwartz:

“I honestly thought this was a preview for a movie titled Cargo Shorts, starring Kevin James, and directed by Adam Sandler.”

Jordan Layton:

“I wasn’t wearing mine but I think I will go make a special trip to put them on because of this awful video”

Victoria Jenkins:

“Someone was high when they made this video.”

Notice the woman doesn’t disagree with the video’s message, just the idea behind it. If ol’ Vicky smoked a doob, she’d be vibing this vid so hard.

via GIPHY

Look at Netflix. Riding the high of Stranger Things Season 1 ratings and that show’s Season 2 teaser trailer. Riding that high right into a savage commentary on fashion. Could this be their subtle way of saying they’re selling merch now? Netflix flip flops and flannel wear? What better way to “Netflix and Chill” than with official Netflix knickers and socks. Science says wearing socks increases your chances of orgasm, ladies. Damn, Netflix you are ALL up in our everything, huh.

I feel compelled to note that I wore cargo shorts for a VERY long time and I still would if it weren’t for the woman who’s boning me. Women literally gag when they see cargo shorts. I actually wrote a joke about it in one of my stand-up comedy sets.

“I just found out that women don’t like cargo shorts. I’ve been wearing cargo shorts for years and not one lady had the balls to tell me cargo shorts are like vagina repellant. Women hate cargo shorts because they see men sticking their hands into all those pockets and they get pocket envy. There’s only one pocket women want men to stick their hand in and it’s between their legs.”

Still needs some work. But, my guess is women see us men digging into those pockets and they cringe at what dudes would do if presented with their pocket.


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