Last Friday, Lena Dunham out Lena Dunham-ed herself. In her perpetual quest to play victim, the 30-year-old walking fun suck relived her experience with Odell Beckham Jr. at the Met Gala.
Odell reportedly called her “Fatty McFatterson” before jumping up on the table, whipping out his penis, and helicoptering it in plain sight of everyone.
Just kidding.
Odell was literally just sitting down. Scrolling through Instagram. Existing.
Lena’s words exactly:
I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, “That’s a marshmallow. That’s a child. That’s a dog.” It wasn’t mean he just seemed confused.”
“The vibe was very much like, ‘Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing a … yep, it’s wearing a tuxedo. I’m going to go back to my cell phone.”
“It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie. I was like, ‘This should be called the Metropolitan Museum of Getting Rejected by Athletes.’” (Nice joke, Lena. Hilarious.)
Me trying to articulate all the flaws in this logic is like trying to eat a sleeve full of saltines after taking a bong rip. Impossible. Even the most sensitive feminists were like “…bruh.”
Lena apologized and shit but like, whatever.
Odell had not publicly acknowledged the incident until he was asked last night at a private party at GQ‘s penthouse in Manhattan.
The 23-year-old had this to say:
“I don’t have enough information to really speak on it,” he told Complex. “We’ll see what happens from there. I never want any problems with anybody in this world.”
Oh you don’t want any problems with anybody in this world, Odell? Huh? How bout those disgusting womanizers? Animal abusers? ISIS? OMG Odell you’re THE WORST.
UPDATE: Odell extrapolated a bit more after practice today:
[h/t Complex]