People Won’t Stop Talking About The Rock’s Giant Crotch Bulge During The MTV Movie Awards

by 2 years ago
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Unlike apparently everyone else under the age of 30 in this country, I never watch the MTV Movie Awards. Why bother? The highlights are always online the next day and honestly, who cares? Why do people watch award shows? They’re very rarely funny, have a 5,000 : 1 commercial break to actual content ratio and really only serve as a circle jerk for famous people to be like “Oh my gilly weed goodness, here is yet another trophy awarded to me for starring in a movie! I donated to zero charities, am a closeted anti-Semite and secretly buried the corpses of 12 children I’ve murdered in my back yard, but none of that matters because my newest film TOTAL ACTION: EXPLOSIONS, MUSCLES AND CLICHÉ DIALOGUE was appreciated by the 10-year-olds who are the only people to actually vote in stupidity contests like these. Thanks!”

That’s not to say that The Rock doesn’t help out with charities – he’s genuinely a celebrity who cares about his fans and does work with the Make-A-Wish Foundation – but for fuck’s sake, you know the awards show you hosted sucked fat dick when the only “buzz” around the ceremony was, well…about your big fat dick. Specifically speaking, people won’t shut up about the giant cock bulge The Rock was rockin’ on Sunday night:

WARNING: THE BELOW VIDEO IS AWKWARD, NOT FUNNY AND MAY CAUSE RETINAL BLEEDS:

Yikes. Never in my life have I wished for a stray fart to cut the tension more than I did while watching that clip. Luckily for The Rock and Kevin Hart, it seems like no one was paying attention to this fail as everyone was stuck on The Rock’s bulge:


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TAGSdicksMTV Movie AwardsThe Rock

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