We’ve all been there. Friday night, settling in for some forced family fun, throw on the Titanic on VHS and then WHAM! Jenna Jameson is bouncing on shaft the size of your leg screaming so loud the neighbors can hear. Then that 8 seconds of eternity hits where no one in the room knows quite what to do so you just sit there and watch the spectacle avoiding eye contact with your parents. You then come to and realize you’re watching hardcore porn with your parents and go to eject the VHS before your dad hollers “Son, wait for the money shot,” to which you abide because he is your father and gave you the miracle of life. After the dude turns Jenna into a glazed donut your mom and dad say they’re “turning in early” and excuse themselves from the room. You refuse to let yourself believe that they’re fucking, but they are. You sit in silence and contemplate suicide but realize you have pizza rolls in the oven so you good.