Tiger Woods Headlines the Top 10 Worst Celebrity Tippers (As Compiled by the Miami New Times)
10. Rachael Ray
Apparently this side-talker extraordinaire promotes leaving less than a 20 percent tip on her show. This doesn't surprise me. Side-talkers are generally sc*m. Bottom of a condom-type sc*m.
9. Bill Cosby
Rumor has it that Heathcliff (now there’s a name that needs a resurrection) once left a $3 tip on a $350 bill. Leaving less than 1%? His balls must be spectacularly large.
8. Sean Penn
The claim is that Penn left $0 on a $450 tab in New Orleans. At the time he must have still been in character from “I Am Sam.”
7. Mariah Carey
It's been public knowledge for years that Carey is a needy c*nt. And according to the NY Post, one night she made a restaurant stay open late and her and her crew “were very diva-ish with their demands. Despite keeping staffers jumping and a high tab, no one left a tip.”
Not only did he once leave his autograph as a tip but according to the New Times article Usher “always tries to get someone else to pick up the bill.” I hope the “someone else” in this equation is that lesbo Bieber.
5. Jeremy Piven
Come the f*ck on, Piven. We expect better from the man who portrays Ari Gold. Leaving a signed “Entourage” DVD as tip is no tip at all. What can that possibly get on the open market? I hope you had the common decency to included a certificate of authenticity, you prick.
4. LeBron James
I haven’t seen a man go from hero to heel this fast since Hulk Hogan joined the f*cking NWO. You can argue Tiger Woods or Michael Vick did it faster, but LeBron’s only crime is being a self-absorbed prick. And he evidently just loves to f*ck the patrons of Cleveland at any chance he gets. He landed on the New Times list because he once left $10 on an $800 bill after making the wait staff at a Cleveland steakhouse stay till 4 a.m.
3. Barbra Streisand
Fuck her tipping habits, I will never understand how a chick this ugly can be famous. That f*cking nose. Christ. She can scratch the back of her head with that thing.
The New Times put her at #2 because she once left an $18 tip on a $400 bill. If you’re not going to tip, Madonna, then at least fix that 4-foot gap between your teeth. You’re rich as shit, it’s time you stop looking like a f*cking a**hole.
1. Tiger Woods
He was found on every bad tipping website known to man and he claims that he never carries cash. Does that mean he should be #1? I don't know. At this point I think our society is finding out just how high shit can pile. Got to be near the top soon.