Why 10 Disney Villains Are Actually Huge Bros

by 1 year ago

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Disney villains are the make-believe bros we all wish we could be when we are younger. They have the funniest lines, best sidekicks, and get to bang the hottest piece of ass in every movie. Sure, they are vilified and made to look like several bags of dicks, but we know the truth. These guys are the reason why you decided to get your ass in the weight room, the reason you got a band of misfit trolls to worship you to no end, and the reason why you demonstratively show your epic superiority. List below are the Top 10 Bros of Disney Classic animation three reasons why they are our favorite.

10. John Smith in Pocahontas

Why He’s a Bro: 

He’ll swoop in and steal your girl.

Quietly confident; he knew he was great life.

The voiceover was done by Mel Gibson. No more explanation needed.

 

9. Milo James Thatch in Atlantis

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Why He’s a Bro: 

Somehow bagged Kida when she’s easily a 9 and he’s a 3 at best.

Makes Nicholas Cage’s treasure hunting skills look like weaksauce.

Master of a dead language.

 

8. Shere Khan in The Jungle Book

Why He’s a Bro: 

King of the muthafuckin’ jungle.

Not afraid to do what was needed to get what he wanted.

Needed multiple characters to finally put him down.

 

7. Sykes in Oliver and Company

Why He’s a Bro: 

Like Jay-Z, he wasn’t a businessman, he was a business maaaaan.

Wore pinstriped black suits like it ain’t no thang.

Was a huge influence in the early years for Michael Vick.

 

6. Hades in Hercules

Why He’s a Bro: 

He’s the devil, what could be cooler?

James Woods’ voice could make just about anyone funny, but this dude was seriously hilarious.

His hair was a fucking flame.

 

5. Kerchak in Tarzan

Why He’s a Bro: 

He had like 10 wives and bullshit rule on procreation.

Was the alpha male of his tribe, thus a quintessential Bro.

Even Rosie O’Donnell was scared of him.

 

4. Jafar in Aladdin

Why He’s a Bro: 

Had Jasmine as a slave. Who wouldn’t want that?

Dude was a shape-shifter and more power than the Genie.

Manipulated everyone to his liking.

 

3. Scar in The Lion King

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Why He’s a Bro: 

Killed his brother and then laughed about it.

Had an army of hyenas to do his bitch work.

Made his dead brother’s wife and her friends make him dinner.

 

2. Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid

Why He’s a Bro: 

He was a fucking Prince.

He lived on his own island, like Richard Branson.

 

1. Gaston in Beauty and the Beast

Why He’s a Bro: 

Was a roided-out motherfucker with respect for no one that wasn’t on his level.

Had triplets on his nuts on the reg.

Ate five dozen eggs every morning and he was roughly the size of a barge.


TAGSbro kingsDisneyMovies

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