Man at Lollapalooza Bitten By a Person Presumably Rolling Their Face Off on Bath Salts

By 08.05.14


Anyone remember our old “Pass the Bath Salts” tank after the Miami face-eating incident? Apparently another zombie-esque incident happened this past weekend. A Redditor attending Lollapalooza was allegedly bitten mid-Artic Monkeys show by a a zombie-cannibal person tripping his face off on bath salts. Now the victim — who was completely sober at the time — is, understandably, terrifying of getting Hepatitis and HIV.

His tale will make you never want to go to a music festival ever again.

Location and time: Friday night during Arctic Monkeys at roughly 9:35 PM. From our vantage point, the stage was at about our 1:30 directionally, approximately 200 yards from the stage.

Note: Before we begin, I feel the need to point out that I have never been more sober at the end of a day of Lolla’ing than I was Friday. All subsequent police and medical professional even remarked how odd it was dealing with someone so sober. Not sure why I feel the need to profess this, but it makes me feel better knowing I wasn’t some drunk asshole who provoked the violence.

The incident: Me and two other friends are enjoying the show and have even made some friends around us. The mood of the crowd is really happy and a nice departure from the normal drunken debauchery. Suddenly, I turn around and some guy none of us have ever seen or spoken to, without warning, body slams my friend and begins using his hands to choke him. My other friend begins hitting the assailant in the face. I come from the other side and place my right arm on his right arm and my left arm on his right shoulder, trying to pull him off. The attacker then turns his head and clamps his teeth into my arm for a good 5 seconds. He’s not nipping at me. He’s trying to bite through my arm. At this point, all three of us are hitting him, trying to get him off me. (Links to the pics of my gnawed-on arm:

Finally he lets go and lunges at the feet of the original bodyslammed-friend, trying to bite him too. He is then kicked pretty squarely in the face.

The attacker has now taken 10-15 blows to the head and been punted in the face. He gets up and walks away. Not stumbling. Not woozy. He just fucking walked away in a straight line. CPD would later tell me they only see assailants like that who are on PCP or bath salts.

I run west out of the show to the nearest cops, screaming that I need an ambulance. They ask me for a description but because it happened so suddenly and fast, I can only describe his as between 5’7” and 5’11”, dark skin (maybe Hispanic, but not black), 170-210 pounds.

They rush me off to the medical tent, who, to their credit, did a wonderful job. They were calming, quick, and professional. Within 10 minutes I was in an ambulance to the hospital where I was given a tetanus shot, antibiotics, PKs, and then given “the talk.”

Because this drugged-up lunatic bit through the skin and drew blood, I am now at risk of Hepatitis and HIV. As a precaution, they put me on the HIV cocktail drugs, which I will continue taking until I can get a definitive negative-blood test 30 days from now.

My questions: Was anyone around me and saw what happened? Did anyone notice a bruise and beaten guy Friday night who matches this description? Anything?

For what it’s worth, I took off my 3-Day pass and didn’t go back Saturday or Sunday. I’m done with Lolla for a while. Thanks, Reddit.

TL;DR Some lunatic bit thru my arm Friday night at Arctic Monkeys. Looking for help and info to track him down.

TAGSbath saltsLollapaloozamusic festivalsWTF

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