If You’re The Jackass Masshole Who Stole Widespread Panic’s Pirate Flag, Can You Please Give It Back To Them?

Look, Bros — I’m going to lay this straight to you. I have a big weekend planned this weekend. I’m going to throw back a couple bloody marys when I wake up on Saturday morning and maybe crush a big old bacon, egg, and cheese. Then I’m going to get on an LIRR train to Freeport Station and chill at Jones Beach with my friends, watching two of my favorite bands — Widespread mother fucking Panic and Umpgreys McGee play by the beach. It’s going to be a great day.

But you know what’s not cool? The Masshole twat who thought it’d be funny to steal Widespread Panic’s beloved pirate flag after running on stage at Blue Hills Bank Pavilion on Tuesday night. That’s some bullshit EDM show behavior, Boston.

Stealing a pirate flag is a brazen scallywag move. In a way, you almost have to respect it. It keeps the spirit of Jolly Roger alive.

But come on, give the damn band their flag back. You’re just going to piss John Bell off and something tells me those raspy pipes can’t stand much yelling without ruining Panic tour for the rest of us.