Some drinkers might say that all they need is a can of beer or a bottle of hard liquor and they’re set. Those drinkers wouldn’t be wrong, but they wouldn’t exactly be fun to party with. Clearly, we wouldn’t drink if it weren’t fun, but there are a few handy and/or hilarious products out there that just happen to make partying even better.
Thirst Extinguisher
Quench your raging thirst with this fire extinguisher-shaped drunk cannon. It holds 1.5 liters of liquid. Just pump the lever and unhinge your jaws anaconda-style in preparation for the incoming onslaught of sweet, sweet liver failure. Think of the possibilities…Beer! Cocktails! The end of innocence! Just make sure it doesn’t go down the wrong pipe, bud.
Buy it here. $23.98.
Credit Card Bottle Opener
You know you want wallet-compatible to pop off those bullshit non-twist-off bottle caps – keychain bottle openers are so ‘98, bro. And you can even personalize this one with two lines of up to 20 characters per line. Nice.
Buy it here. $19.99.
IceMule Cooler
This is a serious accessory for serious dudes who want to keep their drinks cold. It combines the portability of a good backpack with the performance of a cooler, keeping ice freezing cold for up to 24 hours with no leakage whatsoever. Makes you kind of want to plan out your whole summer with nothing but camping, biking, hiking, boat trips, road trips, tailgating and festivals, no?
Buy it here. $59.95.
Vinnebago
Wintertime? Irish coffee it up and keep it hot for up to 12 hours while staving off the cold. Summer? Load it up with a hearty beer (it holds about 25 ounces) and nurse it at the backyard barbecue over brats and coleslaw all day long. It’s virtually unbreakable, doesn’t require pre-freezing and produces zero bottle sweat, so it’s good to go right off the bat.
Buy it here. $29.95.
The Cooler Cannon
You can’t really call it a real party if you don’t have a cooler that you can reload like a gun, can you? Just fill it up with beer, add ice to the cooler, press a button, and all of a sudden you’re catapulting a beverage to a thirsty friend (or yourself if you’re within 8 feet and want to play a one-person game of catch.) Plus, if you never have to open the lid doesn’t that keep your beer colder? Clearly that is the purpose of this fine invention.
Preorder it here. $195.00.
Das Horn
Tap into your inner Viking and consume a copious cornucopia of beer, wine and spirits directly from this finely sculpted drinking horn. It’s dishwasher safe, holds 24 ounces and has a removable neck strap and display stand so you can show off the achievement of owning such a beautiful artifact. Plus it’s BPA-free plastic. Not that Vikings care about such nonsense…
Buy it here. $24.99.
Rabbit Adjustable Jigger
This stainless steel jigger lets you become a manly mad scientist at the bar adjusting capacities between 0.5 and 2 ounces with ease. Because after all, no one’s gonna get laid showing off their mixology skills by using shot glasses to measure the contents of a cocktail – LIKE AN AMATEUR.
Buy it here. $10.00.
Cufflinks Bottle Opener
Stainless steel cufflinks that double as functional bottle openers? Oh, you classy bastard. They oughta call you double-0 drunk, because you’re clearly the James Bond of drinking and gadget fashion.
Buy them here. $49.95.