7 Items For College That Will Make It Look Like You Grew Up This Summer — Even If You Didn’t

Every fall, college students get to return to campus with a clean slate. Everything that happened the previous year is forgotten (unless you did some unspeakably awful shit, then maybe not) and the entire campus gets a do over.

Now, let’s be honest, you haven’t changed one ounce since last year BUT you want to make it look like you’ve at least matured a little. Let your clothes and style say what you’re unable to say — “I might be an immature asshole but I look pretty damn good.”

Here are seven things to purchase before heading back to school that will at least give the appearance you’ve got your head on straight this semester.

The Linden by Nobis

Every summer must-have guide needs a versatile, lightweight jacket. The Linden (pictured up top) from nobis is a windproof, waterproof flyweight jacket with a back pocket for packing into itself.  The Linden is available in berry, bamboo, ivory, denim blue, and black. Get It Now!

Polarized Sunglasses From Woodzee 

Crafted from recycled and sustainably sourced materials, Woodzee sunglasses lightweight and durable sunglasses and eyewear are the perfect additions to any wardrobe. With a commitment to building a sustainable relationship between style & nature, Woodzee constructs sunglasses from natural, renewable resources for the eco-savvy and donates a portion of all proceeds to a variety of charitable organizations, which you can select after ordering from their websiteGet Them Now!

Peppermint Pomade by Mister Pompadour

There’s a “messy look” and there’s a “I don’t give a shit” look and last semester you OWNED the second look when it came to styling your hair.

Mister Pompadour Peppermint Pomade for men are easy to apply and are made with all natural ingredients that won’t leave you hair feeling stiff, sticky, crunchy, flaky, or damaged. It’s a water-based pomade made for hairstyles that demand a balance of medium hold and a touch of high shine. A versatile product for styling your hair with a fine-toothed comb or with your fingers, and it also washes out effortlessly with one rinse. Plus it leaves you smelling like a giant mint, which ain’t ever a bad thing. Get It Now!

Vintage Unwashed Messenger Bag From Rothco

It’s probably time to ditch the back pack. At least for anything that doesn’t involve athletics. Rothco’s Vintage Canvas Messenger Bag features include a heavyweight washed cotton canvas with an enormous main compartment, which can hold just about anything, from books to all your essential survival gear – this bag can hold it. Get It Now!

North Moore Short from WOLACO

How many times do you see a guy out for a run, carrying his phone or keys in his hands? Or is that guy you? The solution is here. WOLACO (Way of Life Athletic Co.) is an innovative activewear purposefully designed to address modern day deficiencies in fitness apparel for urban-dwelling athletes. The perfect combination of form, function and style, the North Moore Short is an athletic compression short with two water-resistant, compressive, easy-to-access pockets – one at the hip, for a phone or music device and the other at the thigh, featuring Velcro reinforcement, for keys, cash or credit cards. Get Them Now!

Woven Nylon Strap Watch by BOSS Orange

Always be on time, or at least fashionably late, with this sweet woven nylon strap watch by Boss Orange. This sleek watch is built with a stainless steel case and woven nylon stripe strap. A grey face and orange logo and details give this piece a pop of color. Get It Now! 

Cooking For Assholes by Zach Golden

Looking good will only get you so far. You’ll need more in the arsenal.  Nothing says “I’m not as immature as you think” quite like food. Take it from noted asshole Zach Golden. He’s discovered an important asshole loophole: If you put a delicious meal on the table, everybody will forget you’re an unspeakably terrible person…until you do something else terrible. But hey, that’s why there’s dessert. Get It Now!

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.