Leaked information from Apple’s Twitter account about the iPhone 7 indicates that they will be doing away with the headphone jack, rendering the 3.5 mm headphones as useful as a Hanson Brother’s cassette tape. Will their brand loyalty take a hit? Short answer: no. No it won’t.
I know this because I was around 10 years ago when Facebook rolled out the News Feed and everyone bitched and moaned about the invasive lack of privacy. Fast forward a decade and those same people are posting pictures of their buttholes as their status.
So we can expect droves of mindless lemmings camping outside their closest Apple Store on September 16 to get their hands on the newest masturbation device, even if it has the ISIS logo etched into the back. Just like the last iPhone and the one before that.
WITH THAT SAID, it is highly entertaining to follow Twitter as it slowly melts down about the injustice as children continue to starve in Africa. Check out some of the most entertaining tweets below.
Never forget. #AppleEvent pic.twitter.com/hzywYVYtyC
— DJ Chacha (@_djchacha) September 7, 2016
"What's that? The iPhone 7 for real has no headphone jack?" pic.twitter.com/FFaapk2RuK
— Complex Music (@ComplexMusic) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/laimtweets/status/703089323902521344
Why is the iPhone 7 basically an iPhone 6 with a lifeproof case and an excuse to buy new million dollar Bluetooth headphones?
— beep bop (@AdelaineMorin) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/HistoricalPics/status/773600854100287493
All that info on the most advanced iPhone yet AND a Sia concert, but still no news on how we fix this #AppleEvent pic.twitter.com/OzrNXTwbZ7
— Luke Edgemon (@LukeEdgemon) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/marcoi_/status/773605085272272896
For the culture. #AppleEvent pic.twitter.com/iikCyJd3W4
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) September 7, 2016
Exclusive preview of next year's iPhone 8. #AppleEvent pic.twitter.com/RD365W24ad
— Frank Luntz (@FrankLuntz) September 7, 2016
true innovation would have been replacing the headphone jack with a flapjack pic.twitter.com/xrdlS2Q8IY
— Denny’s (@DennysDiner) September 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/JCTohme/status/773594595267575808
https://twitter.com/aaronwiener/status/773597301919084544
Apple didn’t do itself any favors when giving its reason for ridding the iPhone7 of the headphone jack: “It comes down to one word: Courage.”
https://twitter.com/markhoppus/status/773594780265623552
"We're going to move from an open standard to a closed, proprietary, expensive competitor because COURAGE." #AppleEvent
— Ben Werdmuller (@benwerd) September 7, 2016
Courage. D-Day. Moon landing. Removing the headphone port.
— Jason 🤳🏻 Chen (@diskopo) September 7, 2016
The upside in all this is that the iPhone 7 will be water resistant to combat all those headphone jack tears.
[h/t Complex]