Introducing the Portable Masturbatorium, A Mini Tent That Allows You to Jack Off in Public
Our friends at Guyism just tipped me off to this magnificent product, THE PORTABLE MASTURBATORIUM, which is exactly what it looks like…a tent that you put over your boner so you can jerk off in public without, you know, disturbing other patrons sitting next to you at church. No more having to tuck up that embarrassing #GodBoner for you!
The Portable Masturbatorium is the brainchild of designer Nicolaus Chaffin and it comes in four amazing fabrics: linen, nylon, dowel, elastic. I have no idea whether or not you can still purchase this one-of-a-kind product, because Chaffin originally posted the dick tent on his Tumblr in 2012 and for some reason — that will forever remain a mystery to me — the concept hasn’t taken off. I searched for places to buy said dick tent, because I wanted to offer our loyal readers easy access to their own pleasure dome, but nothing came up in my search. Hopefully old Nick sees this post, becomes hopeful that this obviously shitty idea still has some legs, and gets himself a Kickstarter campaign or better yet, a slot on Shark Tank.
[H/T Nicolaus Chaffin]