Someone Invented Jeans And Pajama Pants That Will Make Even Your Deadliest Farts Smell Pleasant

Everybody shits. Everybody farts. Everybody is fucking disgusting when no one is looking. Hell, some people are disgusting when people are looking. And some special people, like an ex-girlfriend of mine, are disgusting in their sleep. Poor girl unknowingly had her ass turn into a fart cannon when she slept. Suffice it to say, we did not last long because (shockingly) I found it difficult to find her sexy after I had to endure hearing her asshole do it’s damnedest to reenact the battle of Normandy every night.

That’s where these jeans and pajama pants from Shreddies come in. For those moments when A) your asshole rips the steering wheel right from your hands or B) you’re just a vile piece of shit with no regard for your fellow man.

Truly an invention for modern day America. I mean, just look how happy and in love these folks are because they can shred gnarly ass and never have to answer for it.

Are you in need of something like this? Hit up Shreddies. They will save your marriage. Who knows, they might even save your life.